Tags: challenges, happiness, job transitions, moving, obstacles
Anyone who knows me well enough knows that it is rare for me to say I am happy. It’s not because I’m not a happy person. I have a certain paranoia when it comes to saying things are going well, and for good reason. Literally every single time something goes right it is accompanied with something going wrong. It is the great paradox of life — you take the good with the bad.
So with the happiness of finally moving and dealing with that happy stress, I have now learned that my assistant of the past two years has accepted a new position, his last day being the week I am moving. Everything really does happen all at once. While I am really truly happy for him, I’m terrified for me. I have come to rely on him heavily, and with our busy season gearing up at work, I can already feel myself getting overwhelmed. So between the stress of moving and the stress of things heating up at work, I also have to deal with a major loss. My assistant has not only been helpful in easing the workload and furthering the work, he has been a shining light in my day. It’s really a stretch to call him my assistant. He’s my colleague and more importantly my friend. I am seriously going to miss laughing with him every day.
It’s not the first time this has happened. I’ve seen many a close co-worker move on, and it’s never easy. But things change and people get better opportunities that they can’t pass up. Careers aren’t what they used to be. People just don’t stay at jobs for as long.
But I can’t help but feel as though so much is coming to an end. I’m 30 years old and I feel the change that I couldn’t predict. I knew leading up to 30 was one thing. But now I am 30 and I feel the transition. I feel the change in perspective. I am reflecting on what I want next from my life, what goals I want to achieve, and I am dealing with the obstacles that go along with it. This is just another set of obstacles on my path.
So when the dust settles, maybe then I’ll be able to confidently say I am happy without fear.
Tags: dog-friendly apartment, moving
It’s been a long time coming. I’ve been living in my apartment for six and a half years. It was my first home after college. I had spent 2 years home after school as I tried to save enough money to move out on my own. When I did, the pickings for dog-friendly apartments was slim and I went with the only apartment I saw. It was fine back then, and I planned to stay for about two years before moving on. Two years turned into three, and then my then-boyfriend now husband moved in, and here we are six and a half years later, finally ready to move on.
But I had been ready for quite a while. Life just got in the way and I just now got to the point where I couldn’t take it anymore. Walking up to a third floor walk up, dealing with the heat in the summer, the crappy street parking, things constantly breaking and a landlord who has just given up. On top of all that, it’s a one bedroom that was now being occupied by two people and an 80 lbs dog. I just outgrew the place. So the hunt was on, and in true fashion, I had a vision, but life had other plans.
I originally thought I’d move within the city limits so I could save on transit and be close to Manhattan. But in my search I found nothing to fit my requirements. When I expanded by search beyond that location and beyond my price limit, I found a great match in a city setting outside the city on a residential street — to me, the best of both worlds. I can walk to the train, to the malls, to my hair salon, to the bars, and the best part – guaranteed parking, a place that loves dogs, and a landlord who cares about the property. It seems too good to be true, but still I am nervous to leave behind all that I have come to know as home.
And it is change. It will be different. It will be an adjustment. My commute will be a little longer and I won’t be next to the nightlife that I am used to. All change is hard, even if it is good change. It is always scary. But for me, this time, the excitement outweighs the fear of the unknown. Moving to me is a huge step up. It’s the right thing to do and I think I’m going to be really happy in my new home.
Here’s to moving on up!
Tags: arguing, conflict, fighting
Right about now, any of my good friends who are reading this are probably laughing at the subject of this post, and for good reason. I’ve never been one to hide or hold back my emotions, no matter what the setting. The only way I know how to not burst out with emotion when something happens, is to leave the situation. I have gotten crap for both approaches. My friends would likely prefer that I just suck it up, that I just not take it personally, so we could just move on. That’s something I haven’t learned yet. I can take a joke, but the moment I feel I have been disrespected, a switch goes off and it is on.
So clearly I have some growing to do in this area, but that doesn’t mean I haven’t learned anything from my experiences.
I have learned that it’s okay to go to bed angry. I’ve always been told the opposite, but I often find that if I go to bed angry, things are usually better in the morning. Maybe I was arguing because I was tired or drunk. Maybe we’re just talking in circles getting nowhere. Whatever the situation a good night’s sleep helps me find clarity.
I have learned to try to see things from the other person’s perspective, even when I feel I’m not being heard. If I take a step back and see it from their perspective beforehand, it may keep a fight from starting.
I have learned that most arguments are stress related. It’s very easy to take things out on the people closest to you. Relationships alone are hard, and when things in life are not going smoothly or as planned, arguments can happen.
I’ve learned that anger is blinding. When you are angry, you say things you don’t mean. You say things to hurt. You say them because you hurt. Maybe you aren’t even really angry. Maybe you are just hurt, and you want that other person to feel how hurt you are.
So while I’ve learned some things, I haven’t quite mastered the art of arguing effectively, arguing to resolution. But maybe that’s not the point. I’m not a lawyer, but I will continue to have arguments, I know. But if I can take a pause, maybe I can thwart a couple of arguments along the way.