When Will Everyone Else Grow Up?
July 29, 2010 at 7:45 am | Posted in Friends Then and Now, Life and Living | 13 CommentsTags: adulthood, apartment, career, financially independent, growing up, job, life, responsibilities
Maybe I have high expectations for people, and I know that not everybody is going to progress at the same speed, but I just need to know, when will everyone else grow up?
I feel like there are just certain things that should happen by the time you are 27. For starters, you should be financially independent (unless of course you are getting your PhD or something). By financially independent I mean that you pay your own bills, including student loans, car insurance, utilities, food and all the expenses of living on your own; and if you live at home, you pay rent and buy your own groceries. It’s just really hard to watch other people who don’t get passed this stage.
We all can’t fit into a cookie cutter mold, but don’t you think that at some point you need to take responsibility for yourself? Ok, college is not for everyone, and I’m not saying you even need to know what you want to do with the rest of your life at age 27, but at least figure out how to budget, how what you earn fits into your lifestyle, and stick to it.
I think that some people get very caught up and nervous about not knowing what they want to do with their lives at 27 that they freak out and end up doing nothing, which is so unproductive! You really can’t expect to be making a six-figure salary if you don’t start at the bottom and I know very few 27-year olds that are willing to start at the bottom so late in the game. And the worst part is watching friends struggle knowing that nothing you say or do is going to make them grow up faster.
So when will everyone else grow up? I guess there’s no magic number. Maybe there’s a magical moment when it dawns on them that they can get to the next stage, and maybe there’s not. Maybe they feel stuck and don’t know how to move forward. I think we’ve all been there before. The crappy job market is not helping any either. But people have grown up in worse times. We are spoiled compare to past generations.
So I guess I have to be patience with my slow-to-move friends. I’m working on the patience thing. I just hate to see great potential go to waste.
You Can’t Find Me in the Club
July 27, 2010 at 7:48 am | Posted in Friends Then and Now, Life and Living | 2 CommentsTags: clubbing, concerts, dress, friends, nightlife, Smashing Pumpkins
clubbing in college
Last night I went to see the Smashing Pumpkins in concert at Terminal 5 in New York City. For those of you from the NYC area that may be out of the loop on recent concert venues, Terminal 5 used to be Club Exit way back when. Club Exit was one of the hottest clubs when I was young and I could be found there often.
If somebody told me ten years ago that one day I’d be going to see an alternative rock show at a techno dance club I used to go to, I would have said “huh?”
I’ve been a fan of bands like Smashing Pumpkins for years, but there was a large portion of my young social life where I dabbled in techno, which went nicely with my evening gallivanting. When you grow up right outside of New York City, it’s almost a crime in my opinion not to take advantage of the nightlife. It’s basically a rite of passage to go to one of the city clubs after prom in my town.
But I wasn’t one of those really hardcore people, though I had a few friends that were. At the time, there were some decent suburban clubs where I could be found almost every weekend. I liked going to these clubs because I knew a large portion of the people that went who, since they weren’t from my high school or from my town, I didn’t see often. I would roll up with my group of girls and sometimes the guys, and get to a specific corner of the bar where I knew the rest of my crew would be waiting. I’d get my first drink, lap around the bar and say hi to all of my friends that I came across, then I’d make my way back to the bar for the next drink, and so on until my girls and I were ready to dance. And so was the clubbing days of yore. It was a really fun time.
What was it about the clubs that I loved? There was something about the atmosphere, the music, and the clothes that drew me in. It was a real escape from the boring day to day. At the clubs, you could be who you wanted to be. You could be sexy. You could let loose. The vibe was just right.
Other than one random stint when I was 24, I haven’t been to a club since I was 21. I remember one of the last times I went and how I suddenly felt out of place. It was a strange awakening – the end of an era.
It took some time to come to terms with having outgrown it, particularly since some of my friends didn’t outgrow it. The years that I spent my weekends at the clubs will always be some of my fondest memories.
Living with Roommates
July 22, 2010 at 7:35 am | Posted in Friends Then and Now, Life and Living | 8 CommentsTags: career, college, friends, renting, roommates
When I moved out of my parents’ house, I moved out alone, very intentionally. I’d been through the roommate situation before, and didn’t need to experience it again.
My first exposure to living with roommates was when I was 12. I went to sleep-away camp and had about 7 bunkmates. The following years that number would increase to 20 or so girls per bunk. We each had our own bed and dresser and shared a bathroom that had about three stalls. This would be my only exposure to living in the same room with people I didn’t know beforehand, and I honestly can’t remember any particular quirks that would make me not interested in living with roommates later on in life.
I wouldn’t have roommates again until college, and lucky for me, my best friend followed me to college so I didn’t have to deal with some of the nightmares I heard from others who were assigned a random roommate. I know a lot of people say you should never live with your best friend because you will end up enemies. I totally disagree with that. If you can’t live with your best friend, then how real is the friendship? We got along great and were great roommates. Unfortunately, she became very homesick and only lasted at the school for a year. There was still plenty of time for me to find a roommate for the following year.
I ended up moving in with one of my new best friends. We got a really small room in the building of our choice and we made it work. We never had any real roommate drama, but we had friendship drama that pulled us apart midyear. I left the room and moved in with another best friend and was very happy there. But guess what? She left me at school too! I seriously never had a roommate last longer than a year for one reason or another.
When it was time to move off campus, I got an apartment with three of my close girlfriends. We each had our own room but often could be found hanging out together in the living room. As long as the common rooms were kept clean, everyone was happy. There was only one occasion where roommate drama made living uncomfortable but it was enough to make home not feel like home for a while.
That’s the biggest problem I have with roommates. If there is roommate drama, home doesn’t feel like home. I never want to dread coming home, if I can avoid it.
When I moved out, I wanted it to be on my terms. I didn’t want to have to compromise my happiness to meet anyone’s needs. My needs were complicated enough. Of course, I realize this can’t last forever, unless I want to become an old maid. But for now, I’m happy to let friends crash at my place from time to time. I’d never let a good friend go homeless, but realistically, the one person I’d want to live with is the boyfriend (more on that to come…)
Have you ever had a crappy roommate? I’d love to hear your story!
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