Tags: bossy, control freak, life, order, organization
Ok, so this blog was founded on the idea of realizing things about life and yourself as you get older. Well here’s one that fits right into that. It’s something I truly never thought up until recently, though clearly others saw this in me before and are probably wondering, “how could I not know?” So here it goes. I am a control freak.
It’s the trait that helped me to graduate college in 3 years. It’s the trait that led me to set specific goals and deadlines for every increment of my life. At age 18, I’ll run the marathon. At age 21, I’ll learn to drive stick shift. At 27, I’ll get married. At 30, I’ll be at the director level in my career. Much of this has been reflected in this blog. I’ve discussed how these plans have gone awry and I’ve discussed my drive to reach these goals. I typically adjust accordingly.
I’m known amongst my friends as being the one who herds the group and gets us focused on the task at hand. I’ve been called bossy, though I’d argue that I am a decision-maker. I don’t allow myself to be pushed around. I am stubborn, but I am flexible, but I always need a plan. Even a basic direction, like “we’ll go to this block and figure it out,” will do.
Here’s the question I have. Is it so bad to be a control freak? Why does it sound so bad? Would things get done if there wasn’t a control freak in the midst?
On behalf of all control freaks, I’d like to say that it’s not a bad thing. I’d also like to take this opportunity to dispel any myths or misconceptions about control freaks. Hey, it’s my blog, and I have control over the content, now don’t I?
Myth #1: Control freaks are uptight. Far from it. I like to let loose just as much as the next girl. Although I am a control freak, I can also be spontaneous and daring. I do try new things.
Myth #2: Control freaks are bossy. The worse thing to a control freak is a person who can’t make decisions. Control freaks simply try to help indecisive people make up their minds through logical situation analysis.
Myth #3: Control freaks are hard to work with. Not so. Control freaks are highly productive individuals who thrive with others who are highly productive. If there is a weak link in a group project, a control freak is likely the person to pick up the slack.
Myth #4: Control freaks are bitches. Bitchiness has nothing to do with being a control freak. Control freaks might get annoyed if decisions aren’t being made, but everyone get irritated. Being a bitch is a whole other discussion in itself.
Myth #5: Control freaks are insecure. Not all control freaks seek control because they feel like they’ve lost control of themselves. Quite the contrary. They may feel insecure in an unorganized situation, but they are not necessarily insecure with themselves. If they are, it may have nothing to do with their control-freakiness.
Myth #6: Control freaks can’t take criticism. Control freaks strive for the best experiences and overall improvement. Control freaks understand that they don’t know everything and are willing to learn from others. They are not always perfectionists, but similar traits may apply.
Myth #7: Control freaks can’t take orders or instruction. Control freaks would love if someone else took the lead! As long as they were taking into account what everyone involved wanted to do (as they would) and they were organized and goal-oriented.
Myth #8: Control freaks are egotistical. Control freaks don’t think they know best. They just know how to get things done. If you are on a tight schedule, having a control freak on your side will optimize your time.
Myth #9: Control freaks want to control people. Not all control freaks are puppet masters. Many simply crave order, or the opportunity to create order in a chaotic situation. Most control freaks know that people can make up their own minds, and they appreciate getting ideas from other people.
If there is anything I have learned from blogging, which sadly is something people have a hard time learning, is how to try to be nonjudgmental. For those of you who know me personally, you can corroborate my story, and for those of you who have been followers of my blog for a while, you will know that I am not some nasty, manipulative person. That doesn’t mean the haters won’t always come out. Lucky for me, I am a control freak, focused on my goals. Nothing can stop me.
Tags: life, love, poverty, recession, Thanksgiving, war
It’s that time of year where we are all summoned to reflect on the good in our lives. Sometimes it is hard to do this, particularly when there is so much bad in the world. Some things just shouldn’t be the way they are, but you can’t control everything.
We shouldn’t be in this recession. Families that have worked all their lives shouldn’t lose everything due to a bad economy. Families should not feel forced to sell their homes just to live. The housing market shouldn’t be in such bad shape that people for those who really do want to or need to sell.
Children should not go hungry or suffer serious illness. Illness and the harsh reality of poverty destroys the innocence of too many young children, not just in “third world” countries, but right here, in our neighborhoods.
Mothers shouldn’t have to ride the subway asking for hand outs proclaiming they don’t drink, they don’t use drugs and they don’t smoke cigarettes. All funds raised will help her feed her children and prepare for job interviews. The government and charities don’t have the capacity to save them all.
Animals should not be beaten. Nobody should be beaten, but there is no one more innocent than animals. Animals may not get equal rights to humans, but they do not deserve to be used as punching bags for disturbed humans to vent their frustrations on. Animals give unconditional love, unless given a reason not to.
No one should feel alone. Yes, technically we experience life and death alone, but in the in between we should be able to confide in each other.
Nobody should ever have to fight for their rights. We should all accept our neighbors for who they are, and if we don’t like them, then just leave it alone. We should have better things to do that to tell other people who to live their lives.
All people should be loved, and experience being in love. All people should have the chance to find their passion. All people should be free, and respect others’ freedom. All people should be able to express themselves. All people should be able to see the light, even in the dark, because the dark will never go away, and sometimes you have to face it, and sometimes you can just look passed it. All people should have the capacity to look passed the little things.
But we live in an imperfect world, and nothing is what it should be, so this Thanksgiving I am thankful for one thing in particular. I am thankful for another day to make it all right.
Tags: beauty, change, hair, Tyra Banks
We all need a change sometimes, and the easiest way to change your appearance is to change the way your hair looks. Throughout my life, I have experimented with many different hair styles and I’ve come to the conclusion that I am not a chameleon like Tyra Banks. Not every look works on me. In fact, very few looks work on me.
As a kid, I had cute straight black-brown hair with bangs. That worked until about the third grade, when I grew them out. In 4th grade, it became hip to cut your hair to chin length — a look that didn’t bode well for me. Yea, I know my mom will say it was cute, but trust me, it wasn’t.
In middle school, I started to really assert my independence. I bought the rainbow of Manic Panic hair dye and dipped strands in red, purple, and green. I wasn’t the only one. For some reason, this once again was the “in” thing to do. Why oh why would this be the one time I actually did what others did?
By high school, I was too old to pretend I was still 12 (the cut off age for paying for a child’s hair cut), so I took things into my own hands. It’s just hair right? I think I remember cutting my hair once as a kid, and it turned out ok (even though my parents wanted to kill me). So at the age of 14 I tried out bangs again with the help of my best friend and her trusty scissors. Yea, they did not really come out straight — at all.
Very soon a good friend of mine started studying cosmetology, so I became her guinea pig. She would practice highlights and haircuts on me for years to come. Today, she is a professional hair dresser and I still go to her, but it’s different now that she knows what she’s doing!
Of course, I didn’t have her in college, which is where the majority of my disasters happened. I permed my straight hair, which proceeded to fall right out and I once again got highlights (not at the same time, thankfully). The issue with me and highlights is that my hair immediately turns red, no matter how blonde I try to go. This goes for hair dye, too. It was probably good that it didn’t stay blonde because it didn’t look good.
Since I am beauty-challenged, I can’t handle anything fancy — no layers, no changing lengths, very few angles. I need an easy haircut so I can handle styling it everyday.
As of late, I’ve been letting my hair grow really long. In the past, I’ve grown my hair out long and then cut it all off (rinse and repeat). During the short hair periods, I have extensions to make my hair longer, so it sort of defeats the purpose of cutting it off, but at least I have options. I think for now I’ll be keeping my hair long with the occasional, barely-noticeable color change. This is a look I can handle. And hey, long hair makes me feel young.