Life’s InventoryJanuary 24, 2012 at 7:31 am | Posted in Life and Living, Relationship Woes | Leave a comment
Tags: bride, life planning, wedding registry
It has been a while since my last wedding planning update. I have done a ton of planning, but I’ve also done a ton of other things as well, so wedding stuff at the moment falls in line with the rest of my to-do list. Perhaps it’s because of a longer engagement, who knows? All I know is I have booked all of my vendors and feel like I can do some of the more relaxing parts of the planning process, like working on my registry.
I remember when I first moved out, when I was still with my ex. I remember building my furniture collection much in the way as I did in college (hand-me-downs and DYI). I wasn’t about to spend money on nice stuff. I didn’t have the money, nor did I have the space. I always had it in my head that when I got engaged, I would register for nice stuff. Of course at that point I thought I would be marrying my then boyfriend, and follow the typical course of life (marriage, house, family, blahblahblah).
So now that I am actually engaged, reality is quite different that what I imagined. It is not easy building a registry, attempting to predict what I will need in my married life. What is really going to change once I get married? Not a lot at first. So do I really need dinnerware for dinner parties that I may or may not hold in the next five years? And how do you even buy plates when you don’t know what your future kitchen will look like once you get to the point of buying a home?
So I’m struggling a bit on this one. I am finding myself spending a ton of time trolling through merchandise online trying to figure out what a good wife needs (luckily, I found some great Amazon coupons here). I tend to lean towards kitchen gadgets because I like to cook. But what about bathroom stuff, or other stuff? I just don’t know. How do you inventory a life not yet lived?
And I know that I should just take this as an opportunity to upgrade, to make those incremental improvements to life that I always talk about. But it’s such a strange custom to me. Tell people what you want, have them buy it and wrap it, and then pretend to be surprised when you open something you asked for? And then followed by a personalized thank you note, as though I will remember in five years who got me that food processor?
I don’t know, but it’s putting a lot of things into perspective for me. I don’t know what is on the other side of this wedding, because wedding planning isn’t marriage planning. Perhaps this custom will help me consider what tools I need in my toolbox for a successful marriage, but I’ll take the gifts in the meantime.