Tags: deadlines, parental pressure, peer pressure, pressure, stress
It is the impetus behind so many of our decisions and actions, even an underlying cause for the creation of this blog. Pressure. We all feel it. The phrase “no pressure” is typically thrown around as a joke for a reason. Pressure is all around us, whether we admit it or not.
Growing up, all you really hear about is peer pressure and the impacts it has on the decisions of young people. “If Johnny jumps off a bridge, would you too?” is a favorite line of parents for generations for a reason. Social media has taken peer pressure to a whole new level — if someone you know is doing it, maybe you should check it out, too.
But beyond peer pressure are other forms of pressure. Whether or not your parents or other adults that you look up to know it, by showing you the way, by instilling their values in you, they are creating an atmosphere of pressure. You want to make your parents proud, so you work hard. You want your parents’ attention, so you act out. Pressure can work in both ways. Maybe if you act like them, they will be proud of you. Maybe if you get a good job or give them grandchildren, they will be proud. You don’t want to disappoint them.
And then there’s the pressure of reality. Of time. Deadlines. You’re not getting any younger. Why is time moving so fast? Have I accomplished what I wanted to? Will I ever get to do the things I didn’t get to yet? Am I making the right decisions, or am I making rash decisions because I feel like time is running out?
Is time running out? Just saying that makes me feel like I’m in a game, like life runs on a really big hourglass. But the reality is that society has defined stages of one’s life, leaving very little room for error. What if I change my mind? Is it going to throw off the timer?
I commend those who stare pressure in the face and say “screw you”. Those who say, “just because everyone is doing it doesn’t mean it it right for me.” It is not easy to go against the tide. But the truth is that we are all unique. We are living longer, having children later, starting over again and again. Society is shifting. Marriage is not the norm anymore. Life is becoming more individualized, more personal. And yet, it is the human condition that we still compete, still want to be part of something with others.
So the pressure will always remain, but if we stay true to ourselves, listen to our real wants and not what is expected of us, take risks, know what matters to each of us individually, the pressure can be used as a tool to help us achieve what we really want.
Tags: being organized, prioritizing, wedding planning
With less than 200 days until the big day, I have been getting a lot of questions about how my planning is going. When I start to tell people what I have done and some of my tactics for getting it all done, they’ve had a pretty interesting response. At least, I found their responses interesting.
People who didn’t know me all too well or haven’t seen me in a long time said to me something along the lines of, “Oh, well you have always had it together, it’s not surprising that you’d be so organized.” Somewhere along the way in growing up I had developed a reputation for being organized.
Maybe they knew about the calendar I created when I was younger to track the outfits I wore to school to ensure I didn’t repeat for 2 months? Or maybe they watched me write 6 different essays for my college applications, and go on to college to strategically create a schedule that allowed me to graduate early? Or maybe they have heard about my career plans — how I have put different time stamps on my time at certain positions in order to further advance my career?
Yea… maybe organized isn’t the right word. Maybe the people I know are just using that word because it’s nicer than saying anal, obsessive, controlling. But I guess there is an element of organization in all of those things as well. But to be perfectly honest, I have been feeling less and less organized lately, taking on so much, relying on my brain and various online tools to keep me organized.
We recently had a training at my job to help us get organized. I learned some really cool strategies to balance everything. A lot of it is really helping, but I am still struggling a bit to stay on top of everything. Sometimes there is just too much going on all and you can do to stay sane is prioritize. Because what happens to me is that I get frustrated by a lack of productivity — I get anxious when things aren’t getting done. And in the working world, when you are trying to get things done, sometimes you have to rely on others.
So while I do have some unique… organizational skills, I would definitely not consider myself organized. I like to get things done. I consider myself pretty reliable. I have priorities and I want to make the best of my time. I may not always be spontaneous. I typically like to get into the car and have a destination. But every so often, I’m not against veering off the road.