Tags: domestic partnership, household chores, living together
It was right around this time last year that the fiance and I entered into a domestic partnership together. In the heat of the summer, he moved into my third floor walk up 1 bedroom, and our lives were to never be the same again.
I gave an update a few months ago where I said that this event didn’t really turn my world upside down, and that’s still true, but I’d like to take a moment now to be a little more detailed on how it is all working out.
- Our schedules: Our schedules are completely different but not so different that we never see each other. I work my 9-5 while he works a more flexible schedule. I always know I can rely on him to move my car if it’s on alternate side parking and if I forget, or take the dog out if I’m going to be home late. If he is working from home, he knows I can always mail or fax things for him. I wake up early and he stays up late. Curtains in the living room block the light so I can sleep when he’s still up, and a fan I keep in my bedroom drowns out any noise. It’s not a perfect science, but it works for now.
- Chores: Chores are just that – chores. Some of them we take on easier than others. He naturally takes out the garbage, changes light bulbs, and does the laundry while I do the cooking and a lot of the cleaning (of course there’s some overlap). We struggle to keep up which can be frustrating, and I don’t imagine that will change, but hopefully it will get better (or I will eventually need to hire a cleaning service!)
- Paying bills: We have been very good about paying our bills on time, and splitting them fairly. Both of us have our personal finances in order, so there is no unevenness there, but we know that we have each other if things go sour. For now, we do not have a joint bank account.
- Food shopping: We do this together. I create the list and we both go. Together, we buy healthy foods and a few treats, but somehow a bag of chips always ends up in the house a few days later. Not pointing any fingers….
- The dog: This is my favorite. The fiance has totally fallen in love with my dog, to the point that we joke that he would need partial custody should we break up. He is truly the glue that keeps us together. I could not be with a man who didn’t allow his dog to sleep with him, but that’s a bigger topic for another day.
I think this just about sums up the parts related to our domestic situation. It’s definitely not perfect and we definitely fight and there is definitely still that random sock that always seems to end up in the middle of the living room, but I can’t imagine not waking up next to him everyday (unless of course he has fallen asleep on the couch again).
Tags: apartment, domestic, home, living together, relationships
It’s official. As of August 1, I am officially living with my boyfriend. This is something that has been in the works for a few months, but it wasn’t easy to get to this point, and not because we didn’t want it to.
In a typical Dana move, I set a goal back in January of moving in with my boyfriend by May. It seemed possible at the time, but I never could have predicted the obstacles that were thrown in our way.
First, my apartment fell victim to bed bugs in March. My neighbors got infested first and it spread to the rest of the building. I had to get rid of almost everything I owned, vacuum every day, and have the exterminator come every month. I read some information online that said that bedbugs can die in extreme heat. I live in an attic apartment. All I had to do was wait until summer and they’d all die. It was a long few months! I took this as a real sign that I needed to move out of my apartment.
Which leads me to the second obstacle. The heat! This has been the hottest summer in a long time, and my apartment does NOT cool down for anything. I had to make some serious alterations to my apartment this summer in order to live. The air conditioners run 24 hours a day and I put up curtains between the kitchen and living room to capture the cool air. This was the reason I wanted to move in the first place. I didn’t want to live here for another summer.
But here I am, living in my pretty big one bedroom apartment with the boyfriend. The third obstacle is the reason why we are making this our first apartment together and not living in his spacious two-bedroom apartment. There were several difficulties with his roommate and things were just getting too hairy. At the end of the day, we were forced to make a move that we probably would have dawdled on.
So we found a way to get all of his stuff into my apartment, though it doesn’t all have a home yet. Lots of it actually has improved the usability of the space, but there’s still some major space sharing that we both need to work on. It’s quite strange when I realize that when we talk about going home, we are talking about the same place.
However we got here, we are here now. This was one small step for mankind, one giant step for me making a commitment to my future. I look forward to telling you all my tricks for getting him to clean, and more than likely all the things I try that don’t work. I hope you’ll share some advice with me as well.
Here’s to new adventures!