Tags: after the wedding, memories, wedding dress
With the wedding behind me, there are lots of different pieces from the big day that still need to find a home. Most items related to my wedding have already been taken care of, but I still have some stuff to consider.
This past week I finally received my wedding photo album. I had gotten the photos a month after the wedding but it took me some time to get my act together to design my album. I went a non-traditional route and created a book instead of an album. The book reminded me of all the photos I used to print. It’s been probably about 4 years since I printed photos, relying on the digital world as my archive. But it made me feel like I should print more photos, just in case.
The other major item that I still need to deal with is my wedding dress. I already know I want to preserve it, but I just haven’t gotten around to it. Some people have told me to try and sell it, that it will just sit in my closet for the rest of my life. I know that they are right, but for me, it doesn’t matter. This is the most important, most expensive item I will ever wear and I just can’t let go of it.
There are just some things you can’t let go of. The truth is, sometimes you need tangible items to keep memories alive. My husband and I have been watching our wedding and honeymoon video quite often specifically for this reason, and we have agreed to watch it every year on our anniversary. Because let’s face it. Our memories aren’t going to preserve themselves!
Tags: blocked memories, memories, muscle memories, subconscious
The story of one’s life is made up of the memories one makes, both good and bad, that shape our experiences and decisions. But the mind is an interesting place. The mind holds memories in many forms — muscle memories, sensory memories, long term, and short term. One person may remember an event in a very different way than another. We all have our own perspective and choose to remember things the way we want to.
And that’s what is weird about the mind. Somehow, we select to keep some memories in the most visible part of our minds, easily accessible for reminiscing, and some memories, we allow to slip to the dark corners of our minds, some never to be recalled again. But every so often those memories do find a way of coming back to the surface, and when they do, you are forced to face whatever it is you were avoiding.
Because we usually block memories for a reason. We block things that are too painful to remember, things that scarred us emotionally, things that are not representative of the life we want to remember. We block memories to heal, to protect ourselves from this scary world and the bad decisions we made.
But we don’t block all bad memories. We allow some to come to the surface as a reminder of a lesson learned. And when old memories come to the surface, it is an opportunity to learn, perhaps all over again from a new point in one’s life from that experience.
Not everything in life is peachy keen, and we all say or do things, or have things happen to us that we would prefer to forget. And sometimes you can successfully do so, but sometimes you gotta face the music, fess up to your past and use it to move forward.
Tags: first kiss, lip synching, making lasting impressions, memories, mind's capacity, selective memory, the things that matter
The mind’s capacity to remember things is somewhat limited. I’m no scientist, and I’m pretty sure there isn’t one that has figured out once and for all how much a person can remember, though many studies have been done to show capacity and selective memory.
What I find interesting are the things that people remember about certain situations. I can easily get myself crazy thinking about how something I said came out really stupid, but the person I am talking to may not remember it that way.
My fiance is someone who remembers really interesting details. He’s not very good with names (truth be told it took him a little bit to remember my name when we first met), but he remembers faces and can recognize people just from seeing them once in a photo. As a music and movie fan, he remembers every movie he has seen, in which theater, and who he was with. Same goes for concerts. He knows who he was with and where he was. These are details I don’t always remember, unless something super interesting happens (like how I almost got trampled at a Nine Inch Nails concert — that memory is fresh in mind, or those people who didn’t know MGMT’s music and sat there making out in front of us the whole time).
What I do remember is this. Things like this: The first time I saw my fiance to be; The moment I met my future best friend and maid of honor; my first kiss; the time I received a handwritten letter complete with a break up from my high school boyfriend; the time my good friend showed me self-inflicted cuts on her arms; waiting in the hospital as my college boyfriend got his stomach pumped; catching a fly ball in a softball game in 5th grade; the day I picked up my puppy for the first time; lip synching “I will remember you” in sleep away camp; saying good bye to people I loved who I knew I was never going to see again. I remember moments that made a difference in my life, turning points that at the time I didn’t know were turning points, and moments that I knew would never happen again. I remember people in my life who had an impact on me. I have good memories and I have bad. And I have people in my life to remind me of the things I have forgotten that I need to remember.
And all I can do is hope that I have made a positive impact on most of the people whose paths I was lucky enough to cross.