Pushing Thirtyy

It is Written

I discovered my love for writing when I was in middle school.  My hormones were raging, my emotions were high, and I needed a way to release all of these feelings I couldn’t understand.  I believe it was my 6^th grade English teacher who had the class keep a writer’s notebook (AMS alum, feel free to correct me). When I wrote, I felt like everything made sense. I quickly fell into writing poetry and truly found my form.  Poetry was structured, yet deep and mysterious. It drew me right in.

I majored in English in college with the intent on focusing my efforts on creative writing so that one day I could become a famous author, poet or editor of a magazine.  I purposely didn’t study journalism because I hated the news (that’s laughable now).  I took these amazing writing workshops and got to write all the time.  It was a dream.  But the time came when your writings would be critiqued, and the problem with critiquing someone’s writing is that everyone reads it differently. Everyone gets something else out of it.  You cannot please everyone. But it’s so hard not to try!  I had this one poem that was my heart and soul and it got critiqued to no end.  People liked it, but they all had something to say.  This, I believe, killed my creative spirit.  I have not written a poem since I graduated college.

But I did continue to write.  It became the defining skill of my career.  But I utilize my talent very differently today, so I’m out of practice when it comes to writing poetry.  Sometimes I worry that perhaps this is what killed my drive to write creatively.  I tried making New Year’s resolutions to write.  I tried keeping a journal.  I tried getting my poems published.  I just couldn’t get inspired.  Or published. This blog represents the first time in a long time I have felt inspired to write. I don’t know why this is. But hopefully writing it will help me figure it out.  And maybe writing this blog will awaken my love for poetry.

So since I never did get published, I figured now is as good a time as any to publish my stuff myself.  Here’s one of the last poems I wrote. Perhaps I’ll share these with you from time to time.

Breathe

Think me amazing

Inhale me like powder

Until you reach ecstasy

Then take my hand

Love my skin.

Feel the clouds around you

The air under your feet

Lose your breath-

Think me amazing

Indulge in your bed sheets and blankets

Let the silk be me

And sink into me.

Tickle my toes

Enjoy my laughter,

The light in my eyes

Don’t see anything but me

Close your eyes

Think me amazing

Miss my touch

When I am gone

Don’t breathe

When I am gone

Linger in a pool of me

Drown leisurely

Think me amazing

The way I bite my lip

The crinkles in my cheeks

The silhouettes of my body

The curves of my face

The song of my voice.

Think me amazing

Breathtaking.