Friends Don’t Let Friends Date Stupid Guys

May 20, 2010 at 8:06 am | Posted in Friends Then and Now, Relationship Woes | Leave a comment
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When it comes to my friends, I am very protective of them and critical of who they date. I really gotta size the guy up.  My best friend from high school can definitely attest to this.  I absolutely HATED one of her boyfriends and didn’t even try to hide it.  Let’s just say we never went out on a double date when they were together.

We did do a lot of “double dating” if you will, when we were in high school.  If I dated someone, my best friend just had to date one of his friends, and visa versa.  My favorite was when she literally handed me a photo of a group of guys (all friends of her boyfriend’s) and told me to pick one and she’d set me up with him.  I think guys liked dating friends too because it worked , like a charm every time.

Now that we are older, the goal has shifted a bit.  It’s not easy to date within the same group.  Now, prospects have to be able to become friends with my friends and visa versa.  The group dynamic has to change and the change has to work.  But that’s just me.  I have friends whose boyfriends don’t like to go out as much as their counterparts, but that works for them.

Beyond this shift in goal, there is a shift in attitude.  Now I find myself becoming critical only when I see one of my friends being hurt, or dating somebody who is so clearly a fucked up individual.  Now I feel like I’m much more supportive of my friends’ decisions, though I never pass up a chance to say how I really feel.

What it really comes down to is this:  there is no magic formula for a good relationship. You can’t compare yours with your friends.  Some things just work for some people and not for others.  When it comes to your friends’ relationships, you can give all the advice under the sun (solicited or not) and at the end of the day, your friend is going to follow his/her heart.  All you can do, is be there to support your friends in whatever decision they make.

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