Do you have a date for the prom?

June 8, 2010 at 7:35 am | Posted in Relationship Woes | 9 Comments
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I was driving up the street the other day when I was suddenly hit with an onslaught of traffic on a residential road.  Strange.  Very strange indeed.  What are these kids doing in the street all dressed up?  Guys in tuxes, girls in long gowns like it’s the Grammy’s. What could this be all about?  Oh yeah.  It’s prom season, and I have just crashed a pre-prom party.    It’s been a long time since my internal clock was set by the school year, so pardon my surprise.

Oh prom! Prom, prom, prom! How many have you gone to?  Did you ever get to go to one as an underclassman?  You must be really cool if you have.  Really, really cool.  I went to two proms and one junior prom – all at different schools. Go me.

My prom was a real trip.  I had broken up with my long distance boyfriend a few months before because of the distance (and some other things I won’t get into here) and didn’t have any solid prospects for a date.  Neither did my best friend.  What were we to do?  We had plenty of guy friends and some guys we were dating casually, surely one of them would escort us out of the humiliation of arriving alone.

But nooooo.  That’s right– no!  That’s not a word I heard often from a guy growing up, but when it came to getting a prom date I heard it more than once.  I asked my ex-boyfriend and he said no.  I asked my good guy friend who I kinda had a thing for and he said no.  I asked one of my really close guy friends, but another girl had gotten to him first. I blew such a stink that he didn’t go with either of us.  Oh prom date-getting is an ugly game.  I even got the courage to ask my long time crush – the local barista at Starbucks, and he said no.  Crap!  What’s a girl to do?

Go to the reserves.  I went through my mental catalog of guy friends from other realms of my life with a specific criteria  — they must be photogenic.  Prom pictures are important!  A great old camp friend of my stepped forward and rescued me from dateless hell.  Too bad he knew no one there.

There were other options I did not take.  I was asked by a very sweet guy that I grew up with. I should have said yes to him, but I wanted to take someone I was going to make out with at the after party.  Which is part of the reason I didn’t go with my best friend, who suggested she would wear a tux.  That would have been awesome in retrospect!  There was another guy I had just met who I would end up dating just a few months later.  If I had the guts to ask him, I think he would have gone. He knew people attending and was just a bundle of fun, and my best friend could have taken his best friend and it really would have been a kick ass time.

But alas, it is only one night.  If I could go back and tell my younger self anything it would be this.  Prom is an important rite of passage but it’s not the deciding factor of your future. You most likely won’t marry your prom date, and in a few years you’ll laugh at crappy pictures.  If you find someone to take – be it your best friend in drag – just make sure it’s someone you have fun with. The best part of prom  for me was the fact that I looked damn good, and so did the pictures, but my memories don’t go too far beyond that (and the chocolate cake shots that almost got us kicked out of the limo).

This is your last hurrah with your classmates.  Things are going to change big time after this night and you can’t even begin to fathom how that feels. But it’s not the time to.  Spend prom making good memories so one day you can tell your kids “my prom date was my best friend in drag.  It was awesome!”


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  1. oh yes Prom. thinking back at it now it seems so unimportant to my life today. but it really was a lot of fun. the age of hopes and anticipation of what that night will bring. getting into a club with a fake id. drinking on a prom bus with some strange guy that you tipped real well so he wont kick us out for drinking! now thats fun! its an adventure that i think is important to go through good or bad. i was lucky to go to proms with a lot of my close friends. I have the pictures and video to look back at and it helps seal bonds with your friends that you can look back today and laugh at. In 10, 11 and 12th grade i was “lucky” to go to 5 or 6 of them. I got asked in 10th grade to go with this girl I worked with then in 11 i went to 2 proms one with my gf at the time and another with a friend and in 12 i went to 2 or 3. 12 grade was the best b/c it was just for the fun of it kind of time and I even went to the jersey shore the weekend after the 12 grade prom lol so if u have a bad taste in your mouth about HS Prom I say get over it. Good or bad at least you got to go on that adventure.

    • It sounds like you had a really great experience with prom. Lucky you!

  2. I went to 6 proms… none of which i cared about (date wise). I took guy friends each time, no anxiety about asking anyone. I said “hey… prom?” Dudes: “sure!”. I was sort of detached from my highschool socially, because I had a job, college on my mind, and played every sport known to man.

    I did have a different “friend” each time.. none of which i wanted to make out with. I just wanted someone to pose with me in pictures. And the proms i went to at other schools, they still just needed a girl to take a picture with, and I was kinda cute 😉

    Our circle was pretty big, and oddly enough, we had the same number of boys and girls, but we were friends…and sex, at least for the girls, were not on our minds. I did have a different dress each time.

    We didn’t drink, we all went to a chinese place AFTER prom. No one drank, no one had scandelous tales of knock’n boots the next day. Prom was just a dance, nothing more. Even for a super large public school. And I tell yah one thing…I couldn’t wait for the last hurrah so I could FINALLY get out of highschool!

    • clearly you did not grow up in the NYC area 🙂

  3. I remember believing that finding a prom dress was the be-all end-all moment in my life. NO ONE could have the same dress as anyone else.. It was like a death sentence to dare commit that crime.

    Now looking back, I realize I shouldn’t have taken it so seriously. Or spent so much money on those darn dresses.

    Thanks for this.


    Hannah Katy

    • The dress was so much more important than the date! I got a great deal on my dress luckily! It’s funny how the dress situation starts so young and follows you through weddings and everything. Right now, I’m trying to tame the urge to buy a new dress for every wedding I attend. It’s a lifelong struggle! Thanks for reading! I’ll check out your blog soon!

  4. […] my senior prom.  My dress was me to a tee.  A long red dress with a leopard print lining on top (see picture here).  I still remember the moment that I saw it, and laughed at the irony of finding a piece of […]

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