Living with Roommates

July 22, 2010 at 7:35 am | Posted in Friends Then and Now, Life and Living | 9 Comments
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When I moved out of my parents’ house, I moved out alone, very intentionally. I’d been through the roommate situation before, and didn’t need to experience it again.

My first exposure to living with roommates was when I was 12. I went to sleep-away camp and had about 7 bunkmates.  The following years that number would increase to 20 or so girls per bunk.  We each had our own bed and dresser and shared a bathroom that had about three stalls.  This would be my only exposure to living in the same room with people I didn’t know beforehand, and I honestly can’t remember any particular quirks that would make me not interested in living with roommates later on in life.

I wouldn’t have roommates again until college, and lucky for me, my best friend followed me to college so I didn’t have to deal with some of the nightmares I heard from others who were assigned a random roommate.  I know a lot of people say you should never live with your best friend because you will end up enemies.  I totally disagree with that. If you can’t live with your best friend, then how real is the friendship?  We got along great and were great roommates.  Unfortunately, she became very homesick and only lasted at the school for a year.  There was still plenty of time for me to find a roommate for the following year.

I ended up moving in with one of my new best friends.  We got a really small room in the building of our choice and we made it work.  We never had any real roommate drama, but we had friendship drama that pulled us apart midyear.  I left the room and moved in with another best friend and was very happy there. But guess what? She left me at school too!   I  seriously never had a roommate last longer than a year for one reason or another.

When it was time to move off campus, I got an apartment with three of my close girlfriends. We each had our own room but often could be found hanging out together in the living room.  As long as the common rooms were kept clean, everyone was happy.  There was only one occasion where roommate drama made living uncomfortable but it was enough to make home not feel like home for a while.

That’s the biggest problem I have with roommates. If there is roommate drama, home doesn’t feel like home. I never want to dread coming home, if I can avoid it.

When I moved out, I wanted it to be on my terms. I didn’t want to have to compromise my happiness to meet anyone’s needs. My needs were complicated enough.  Of course, I realize this can’t last forever, unless I want to become an old maid.  But for now, I’m happy to let friends crash at my place from time to time. I’d never let a good friend go homeless, but realistically, the one person I’d want to live with is the boyfriend (more on that to come…)

Have you ever had a crappy roommate? I’d love to hear your story!


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  1. Pretty much all of my flatmate stories have been horror stories and I’ve blogged about them many times!

    I hope to never have to go back to living with people other than the bf.

  2. Yes… i have multiple horror stories.

    My first roommate freshman year of college… was a senior and was NEVER there she lived so close off campus. I was alone in a big giant school, and it just made making friends that much harder with an MIA roommate. I managed, and she was nice, but i think I only seen her 3 times that entire year. Sophomore year i moved in with a “friend”. And i use that term loosely. It only lasted one semester. She would bring boys home at all hours of the night….and we had bunk beds… get the idea. Did I mention she also had a boyfriend? And i had to pretend I knew nothing everytime he came around. Talk about uncomfortable. She also lived close off campus, so she would be gone for days. We use to buy food together…and lemme tell you, sharing food is never a good idea, especially with looney tunes. She was gone for over 2 weeks at one period. We had a huge fight over….popcorn. And then she complained to housing that she couldn’t live with me anymore because she feared for her life? Because… I had some of her popcorn? So after being interviewed and evaluated by housing to prove i wasn’t a serial killer, she moved out and I never spoke to her ever again. Mind you, i didn’t say BOO to anyone, and I replaced her 5 handfuls of popcorn i took.

    Second semester i moved in with someone very special! 🙂 And it was my most favorite time ever. Unfortunately, I had to leave my best friend and go to a local university in Boston. Most fun EVER with her!

    At 19yrs old, I moved out of my Mom’s house, and into an apartment with my co workers. Tattoo artists and piercers from the tattoo studio i worked at.

    Also, never a good idea to work, eat, sleep, live with the same people 24 hours a day. i was constantly uncomfortable at home all the time. I had my own room, and slept on a mattress on the floor, no curtains, no furniture, no TV, no shelves. Just a mattress on the floor and a laptop. And i loved it. It was my own space, that i paid for, and I had equal say in the house. I also balanced full time school. We never cooked food, we would party hard all night, and then wake up for work at noon, work 10 hours and repeat the process. Yes, there was some intense fights. And even some roommates moved out. Then we all moved back together….and the tiniest apartment in the entire world. We had what must of been a 350sq apartment with 4 adults and 2 giant dogs. You wanna talk about pressure? THAT is pressure. We also never cooked. At this point, my roommate who i developed a giant crush on, had become my boyfriend (and we’re going on 6 yrs now 🙂 ) and living with your boyfriend, in tiny quarters, within the first year of dating, that my friends, is a true test. Our “bedroom” was just big enough for a queen mattress on the floor, and a plastic tub full of clothes. Torture. That was the last time I’d ever live with someone else besides my boyfriend. The other couple we lived with….non-stop fighting allllll daaaaaay alllll niiiiiight. Could you blame them? It was prison! We have since upgraded to nicer and nicer apartments, and right now we have a very spacious 3bedroom with our dog in a very nice neighborhood. And i couldn’t be happier. And almost 6yrs into our relationship, we look back in amazement about all crappy apartments we had, and impressed we got where we did. Sure living with your significant other is HARD. Harder than living with roommates/friends. You fight about things you would NEVER in a million years think about arguing about. Like leaving the spatula on the oven and the dog jumps up, takes it, and eats in your bed and smears grease everywhere. “And why didn’t YOU just put it in the frick’n SINK!??” Yeah… that. (: And you will NEVER EVER in your entire life… have to pick up some many god damn socks.

    • Thanks for the guest blog post! Seems like I hit the sweet spot on this one. 🙂

  3. hahaha sorry… i get carried away with you sometimes 🙂

  4. Good for you to live alone. Lots of people have trouble with that, though I definitely didn’t. The three crazy roommates I had cured me of it. Roommate 1 had a clingy mother going through empty nest. The mom lived 30 miles away and started showing up at our apartment on the weekends at 6 a.m. and lecturing me on guys staying over and my drinking habits. If I wanted parent supervision I would have moved home. Crazy roommate #2 wasn’t really that bad, it was her boyfriend who became obsessed with trying to get me to have a threesome with them and even thought it was okay to come in the bathroom while I was in the shower. Roommate 3 was bi-polar and flipped out one night and laid in the street in front of our house (we lived on the busiest street in town). After that I decided no more roommates.

    • wow! Yea, that should do it! My dog has been the best roommate to date.

    • thanks for the blog roll add! Adding you 🙂

  5. […] first apartment together and not living in his spacious two-bedroom apartment.  There were several difficulties with his roommate and things were just getting too hairy.  At the end of the day, we were forced to make a move that […]

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