From Player to Prude

August 11, 2010 at 6:54 am | Posted in Relationship Woes | Leave a comment
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I was out a few months ago with the guys and a couple of girls I didn’t really know.  In an attempt to bond with the girls, I went to the bathroom with them. Why this is how girls bond is beyond me, but I guess it’s the only quiet place to gossip away from the guys.

One of the girls was dating my friend, and the other was heavily flirting with another friend.  The flirty one spent the majority of the night on my friend’s lap.  In the bathroom, the flirty one was telling us how she was supposed to have a booty call that night, but it fell through, so she came here for another chance at getting some.

I was shocked.  What do you mean? You’re courting more than one guy at a time?  This seemed so foreign to me.  I’ve been in monogamous relationships for 7 years and it was just so hard for me to remember what single life is all about.  I didn’t know it was possible, but I went from player to prude in my adult life.

As a teen, I would easily juggle dating a couple of guys at once without second thought. I enjoyed playing the field as much as the guys did. Just like the guys, I had my own bucket list of sorts, and crossed a few key experiences off my list.

When I did get into my first long-term monogamous relationship, it was purposefully.  I had decided that I had just gotten out of control and I needed to pull back.  I met a guy in college, connected with him spring of sophomore year, had my last summer flings, and settled into a safe relationship that fall.

The relationship kept me safe from myself. I threw my whole self into that relationship with the intent of falling in love, getting married and living happily ever after.

Of course, you can’t plan happily ever after.  I think a lot of my player-time was spent trying to find that prince through all the frogs.  Often girls date a lot because they try so hard to make that connection instead of letting it happen organically.  There is a sense of stability in dating someone exclusively. And who doesn’t like a little attention?

So I took a step back from the conversation in the bar that night and remembered what it was like to be out there.  It’s definitely not easy.  For those of us that are in relationships, it’s moments like these where we should be thankful we have our partners, and for those of you still out there but looking, don’t look too hard. Your match will likely find you when you least expect it.

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