Dating a Man Raised by Women

October 21, 2010 at 8:39 am | Posted in Family Ties, Relationship Woes | 16 Comments
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I’ve dated men from all different family situations, from the happy go lucky, “perfect” family, down to the “broken home” where words of hate and disconnect pepper the air like Febreze.  A child’s family has great effect on who that child grows up to be.  I can’t say I’ve seen that any one specific situation was better than the other in terms of how the man turned out — it really is a case-by-case, individual circumstance situation — but I can say this.  There are some real unique qualities of a man raised by all women.

The boyfriend comes from a family of strong Italian women.  He was raised by his grandmother and his mother, who also raised his sister who is only a year or so older than he is.  These women are no bull kinds of women; women who work hard to provide for their children; women who, at the drop of a hat will do anything for their children. They are women to admire.

Having such positive female role models in his life, the boyfriend has always been a complete gentleman.  I must admit that when we first met, I assumed he was a player just by his good looks and his comfort in talking to girls.  It was only later that I’d learn that this comfort actually came from being surrounded by girls all his life.  He was never a player, had dated in his life but never superficially; he was never into playing games.  He always wanted to do the right thing and did everything he could to do so.

So this well meaning boy turned man has always had a strong respect for powerful women and never feels upstaged by his ambitious girlfriend.  Having a strong girlfriend is often a turn off to men who want to be in charge, but not this one.

But there are some downsides to being raised by all women.  Because they did everything for him, it’s hard to get him to cook or clean, or tend to general house care.  As may be a typical male chore, he’s very good at taking out the garbage and changing light bulbs, but the vacuum, which sits in plain sight, only budges under my thumb.  He leaves behind unique messes that are tell tale signs of his existence — fork marks in the nutella, cereal boxes torn open, coffee grinds in the sink, socks on the floor.  Because they were always there to clean up after him, he is still adjusting to cleaning up after himself.

But he does know to take my bras out of the wash to hang dry, and he does take the dog out late at night when I’m already in my pajamas, and he does move my car when alternate side rules are in effect.  He does love me, as I love him, unique messes and all.

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16 Comments »

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  1. I enjoyed reading this. I, too, am dating someone who was raised mostly by women. Thankfully, though, he does cook and clean =)

  2. Sounds like a keeper to me!

    -Lucky

  3. LOL! I HEAR you girl! My boyfriend was raised by his Mom, Grama….and THREE SISTERS!!! I have the exact same issues. Ask that man to wash a dish and it’s like you asked him to deactivate a bomb. And when he DOES finally pick up his socks, you gotta give him a gold medal 😉 I’ll never trade it though, gotta love that sensitive side.

  4. Im a man, raised by women, but have the opposite problem when it comes to dishes, the vacuum, heck… just about everything. My new approach has been a sticker chart (yes, like kindergarten). Just the visual tally of what needs to get done, and who does what, helps put things into perspective (for us). We see who’s doing what and we offer to help by doing something else that needs to get done. When everything is checked off on Sunday, we lay on the couch.

    • whatever works for ya! I might have to make a sticker chart…. 🙂

  5. Love this post – I am madly in love with a man that was raised by women only. Yes, the fork marks in the Nutella drive me crazy, but he still opens my car door after 3.5 years. However, he doesn’t always know how to best take care of himself when he gets sick… that’s where I come in (and just posted about 5 minutes ago…).

    We’re lucky and they’re even luckier!

    Cheers!

    • we’re so aligned, I love it!

  6. My ex was raised by women, and was very tidy, although he wasn’t great in the kitchen.

    BF was also raised by women and yes, is HORRIBLE at cleaning (although, no offense, cleaning doesn’t seem to be a priority in his family) but is AMAZING at cooking. It’s a tradeoff but one I’m happy to make.

  7. Yes, all that is great, but does he open the door for you? You don’t know how many times I’ve had to grab him by his shirt collar when he was growing up so a lady can go through a door first! I hope by now he’s got that one down pat! Love to you both!

    -Aunt Bobbee

    • haha, he’s usually pretty good with that, though he does have to go back and check to make sure every door is locked at least three times. 🙂

  8. […] at Pushing Thirtyy on dating a man raised by women. It’s not as bad as you might […]

  9. love this, babe 🙂

  10. Agreed. It’s a transition for both sides but it helps if the guy had a close sister

    • it certainly does! especially if that close sister is a tough ass 🙂


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