Hips Don’t Lie — Neither Do Jeans

October 26, 2010 at 7:40 am | Posted in Fashion, Fitness and Beauty | 15 Comments
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I hate shopping for jeans.  It’s a necessary evil that I do everything in my power to avoid.  I have even gone so far as not to purchase jeans for the past 7 years.  7 years! My cousin was working for Angel jeans at the time, and the sample size was close enough to mine, so she threw about 30 pairs my way.  They lasted for 7 years, but have slowly been disappearing from my collection due to normal wear and tear, and well, some of them were just completely out of style, so jean shopping was a must.

The thing with jeans is that you really can’t fake it.  Sucking in just doesn’t work, and if they aren’t going to make it over your hips, there is no way around it.  I remember when stretch jeans first became big.  It was the best invention ever! I can now fit into more styles of jeans than ever before, whether or not they are flattering is another question.

So why do I have such a problem with jeans fitting?  Two things — one, I am a member of the petite movement.  Short legs and long jeans just don’t work.  I’m not a fan of getting my jeans hemmed as I have found that they somehow seem to shrink more when you wash them, so I’m always looking for short jeans. Secondly, I am also a proud member of the big booty brigade, so even if the jeans would theoretically fit my waist, it doesn’t matter if they don’t fit over my behind.

With these minor set backs, when it comes to shopping for jeans I cannot be shopping for anything else, otherwise I will walk out empty-handed.  I have to be focused on the task at hand.  I no longer can get away with Angel or MUDD jeans.  I have to be an adult about this, so I try on a bunch of different brands. Most recently, I’ve purchased two brands.  Seven and Michael Kors. I am particularly in love with my Michael Kors.  They just fit so well!  The only downside is that they almost always have gold embellishments on them and I don’t wear that much gold.  Mr. Kors, if you are reading this, can you make a line with silver embellishments? Thanks.

I’m really not a name brand whore.  I’ve always been one to, at least, be aware of the trends and to follow them as I see appropriate.  I choose these name brands strictly based on the fit.  I purchase them at a discount, not a department store.  If I found a non-name brand that fit, I’d totally buy them, but something tells me I wouldn’t have much luck.

So I will gladly wear my Michael Kors until they no longer appear socially acceptable.  I’m slowly rebuilding my collection, adding in some leggings to break up the blue jean monotony, and hoping I’m a long ways from adding Mom jeans to my collection. 🙂


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  1. I hate shopping for pants altogether. I’m not skinny – I have curves, so it’s a challenge to find a pair that don’t feel like sausage skins around my thighs. Can’t figure out why they make pants that fit tightly around said thighs and yet leave enough room at the waistband to fit in the contents of a dozen trips to the lunch buffet. I went this past weekend to find some pants. Became very frustrated. Walked by those hideous elastic-waist pants, stopped, and looked again. I had to slap myself back to sense.

    • hahaha! that’s hysterical! You know what I don’t get? There are women whose thighs don’t touch, at all! How is that physically possible? I don’t know who makes most jeans, but if they are women, I bet their thighs don’t touch.

  2. Jeans don’t work on me unless they are trouser jeans and they act like trousers. Regular jeans, have to be dark rinse, straight legged, mid-rise and with small pockets in the back for my small butt.

    I hate hate hate shopping for regular jeans.

    • they are fairly impossible to shop for, indeed!

  3. I have the same problem! I have big hips and a big butt,and if I get a bigger size then the jeans are too long!!!Try New York and Company. Their jeans are pretty good.I find them to have enough stretch, without looking like leggings. And they carry a huge collection of sizes. You can get whatever size you are in short average or tall.

    • I actually buy my pants for work at NY&Co, but I haven’t tried their jeans yet. I love their slacks though for sure. Gotta check out the jeans! tx for the tip!

  4. i thought i was the only one with this issue. except i have opposite. I’m tall and I hate low riding jeans but also hate mum jeans…

    • I hate low riding jeans too! That’s another issue in itself. I feel like all jeans are low riding!

  5. ::dies:: at “big booty brigade” lol

    • I thought you’d like that 🙂

  6. […] Hips Don't Lie — Neither Do Jeans « Pushing Thirtyy […]

  7. I love how your topics are so spontaneous.

    • thanks! Isn’t life spontaneous? Or is that just the way my brain works? Either way, welcome to my brain. Feel free to look around.

  8. Go to the Dominican clothing stores in Washington Heights! Those jeans were made for thighs and booties and they’re 20 bucks. My favorite brand is Lulu jeans.

    • thanks for the tip! I’ll have to check it out. I was considering trying Applebottoms for a while. Hopefully I don’t get strange looks!

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