Hey, Jealousy

February 15, 2011 at 7:27 am | Posted in Relationship Woes | 5 Comments
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Jealousy is one of the most complex emotions a person can have.  When a person feels jealousy, there is often some insecurity within him/herself that has nothing to do with the subject of their jealousy (other than to be a trigger).   But jealousy can also drive a person to improve their situation.  It can also trigger healthy, and unhealthy competition.

I have yet to know a person who has not experienced jealousy in their life.  And it starts early, and matures with you.  When I was a young teen, I remember being jealous of my friends with boyfriends because I couldn’t figure out how to get me one.  I would say things like, “I can’t be around happy couples.”  That just sounds so ridiculous typing it, but it goes along with my point — sometimes jealousy seems ridiculous, but it’s an individual experience.

When I started dating my current boyfriend, my jealousy was in full swing. He had a ton of female friends, and I thought he was such a catch, there is no way that he isn’t going to give in to temptation.  How could I ever be enough for him?  There were some girls that paid entirely too much attention to him, and we fought about it, because he was too nice to push away these girls who he considered just friends (guys are not as good at spotting the sly ways women slip themselves into a man’s life).  I was more than happy to fight for my man, and eventually, didn’t have to anymore.

My jealousy now in terms of relationships is very fantasy-related.  I feel the jealousy flair up when there’s an attractive woman on tv, or even worse, a half naked woman in a movie.  Is that what he wants me to look like?  How am I supposed to compete?  I’m not, obviously, but I’m not going to hide the fact that the way the media perpetuates what women “should” look like absolutely effects my body image, makes me feel insecure, and eventually turns makes me jealous.  This is not the path to which jealousy should come about.

Because jealousy isn’t always a bad thing. A little bit of jealousy can keep you on your toes, can keep your relationship interesting, keep you from getting so comfortable that things get boring.

Just don’t let that jealousy go too far.  Nobody likes a crazy jealous bitch.


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  1. Wow…I feel like an expert on this topic…I have a few female friends…had to lose a few, victims of jealousy…sometimes it doesn’t even matter what the girl looks like…it could be that I share an interest with that person as innocent as can be and then here comes the drama…sometimes I am accused of flirting for merely being polite. Sometimes I don’t even find a girl attractive but if my wife thinks she’s cute…here come the drama(lol) now…for myself..I know that there are people in this world who look better than me (not many!) may be funnier, smarter, wealthier( probably a few)

  2. Oh, it definitely has nothing to do with looks. If your partner makes a connection with someone else, like they have something in common that you don’t, and they can talk about it at length with any ounce of excitement, jealousy can occur. This happens to me whenever I go to concerts. The bf is a huge music fan, so we meet people at a concert, he can go on and on. At some point, I check out, but whoever he’s talking to is just like him. Gets me crazy every time!

    But you are right, sometimes you gotta lose a few friends of the opposite sex to keep the one that really matters.

  3. I disagree…you should be able to have friends without the significant other getting all uptight…sometimes it could be mutual friends and there’s an akward tension that surfaces…I start to hide my charm (lol)…not cool!

    • Mutual friends is a little different. They should know better. Friends that don’t respect the fact that your partner has you may need to get cut off. But yea, it’s all circumstantial!

      • Different perspectives…It seems like you’re taking the side of the jealous one! Lol…

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