My Judgment-Free Zone

April 14, 2011 at 7:26 am | Posted in Friends Then and Now | Leave a comment
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All throughout my life, I have befriended a diverse group of people.  I was never attracted to one specific “type” of person when it came to friends and I enjoyed learning from people with different perspectives, personalities, backgrounds, strengths and weaknesses.  But there is one trait that I have always been attracted to.  It’s a combination of modesty and acceptance that creates my judgment-free zone.

Everyone needs friends who won’t judge them.  I know this sounds ridiculous because everyone judges everyone, but sometimes you just don’t want to be judged.  My friends often turn to me as the person they can tell anything to, no matter how obscene it may seem, because I do not judge.  People do lots of crazy things. It’s all part of living.

I have friends who have some really great things going for them. That’s not to say that I don’t.  I have friends who work really hard so that they can afford the lifestyle they want to lead.  They live in nice apartments, drive nice cars, wear expensive clothes.  These are things that were never my top priority, but they are theirs, and I am okay with that, and they are okay with me in my average apartment, average car, average clothes.  This lifestyle doesn’t get in the way of us being friends.  I also have friends that are extremely smart, but that will never make you feel stupid.  And of course I have friends who have family money and can afford a lot more than I can.

These are friends that I know I can trust.  Beyond the fact that they accept me for who I am (and I, them), they exhibit an admirable amount of modesty.  They don’t hide who they are but they don’t show off either.

Let’s face it — it’s easy to feel like you have to compete with your friends, and in some ways it is healthy. But competition can destroy a relationship.  What keeps friendships strong are mutual respect, acceptance, and a little bit of modesty. No need to show off. Your friends know how great you are.

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