An Update on Cohabitation

April 21, 2011 at 7:30 am | Posted in Relationship Woes | 2 Comments
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When my boyfriend moved in with me last summer, I promised lots of updates on what it was like living with a boy.  But I didn’t deliver for a very simple reason — there weren’t any great surprises or lessons learned.  Beyond the drama surrounding the decision to move in together, the actual act of living together hasn’t been so dramatic.

Sure, we have our disagreements, mainly around the definition of clean,and I may threaten to kick him out in a fit of anger, but really, we adjusted to each other really well.  We have very different schedules — I have my 9-5 and he has a schedule that’s all over the place, so each night he tucks me in and stays up for a while, and every morning, I kiss him goodbye and start my day.   We see each other plenty but are not on top of each other. We both do household chores, though there always seems like there’s more to do than we have the energy for. He takes care of the dog when I get home late, and I leave him dinner when he gets home late.  All in all, we take good care of each other.

He did move in with a lot of stuff, and I had been living alone for a while so I already had everything I needed, but we made as much room as we could.   So we have a lot of unmatched furniture that is just for storage purposes.

So that’s really the main thing.  I had already outgrown this apartment when he moved in.  I never expected to be here this long, and now that we’ve been living together for almost a year, this place just keeps getting smaller and smaller.  We aren’t on lease anymore, so we can move whenever we want, if we could find a place.

We’ve been casually looking at apartments for months, after deciding on a compromise on location that would allow him to drive to work and me to take the subway to work.  We’ve seen some okay places, but nothing that made me want to go through the process of uprooting my life.

Because I want something better than what I have now.  I want to be happy with my home.  I can afford more than I could when I first moved into this apartment, both because of having a roommate and because of an increase in salary.  I don’t want to settle.  But it’s really hard to find an apartment that allows large dogs.  It’s crazy to be how hard it is!   I mean, I’ve seen small dogs and cats that cause more damage than my lab.  It’s just not fair.  It’s not like landlords ask how much their tenants weigh.  Would they turn me down for an apartment if I was 300 pounds?  I don’t think so.

So I don’t know what the next step is.  Should we be looking to rent? Should we try to buy?  She would save money for other things, like the new car we really need?  Should we suck it up and stay here a little longer?

I don’t know how this sequence of events is going to unfold, but I do know this.  Something is going to happen soon.


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  1. Yes, something will happen, if not soon, than eventually. It’s romantic how your lives have interwoven into a comfortable pattern of domesticity. Not many people have what you two share. Life happens, and I’m sure you will eventually find something that fits your buget and your family (boyfrien AND beloved 4-legged companion).
    Maybe one day all 3 of you can take a ride up to Connecticut to visit your aunt! I’m waiting!!!

    Aunt Bobbee

    • Tx aunt Bobbie! We will definitely come visit soon! It’s almost beach season 🙂

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