The Osmond Effect

May 17, 2011 at 7:27 am | Posted in Relationship Woes | 2 Comments
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I never could have imagined in my wildest dreams that I would be inspired by an Osmond story, but the news of Marie remarrying her first husband has got me wondering why it is that we live in a world where half of marriages fail?

I’m a romantic at heart, and while I know many couples say this, I’m still going to say it.  I only plan to get married once.  I don’t plan on getting divorced.  But as I watch more and more of the people I grew up with getting hitched, I know that down the road the statistics will likely sadly remain true.

Because people give up on marriage way too quickly.  At least, that’s what I think.  I think it’s true that you can make the mistake of getting married too soon or too young, but I feel like most marriages end because they are just too hard.  Relationships are hard! They take a lot of work and understanding, compromise and compassion.  No one should ever have to go 26 years and realize that they were right all along.  Their first love, who they left a lifetime ago, really was “the one”.

Life can get in the way and cloud your vision, and sometimes it may be hard to bring yourself back to the place where everything was roses, but you have to put up a fair fight.

When I was in middle school, my best friend (at the time) and I came up with ten rules for dating.  I don’t remember them all offhand (if I ever find the pocket size printouts we made for our wallets, I will totally post them), but the one that I do remember may be one of the most important.  Here goes: When considering getting back together with an ex, think about why he’s an ex.

Smart teenager huh?  Of course this was referring to silly 2 week “relationships,” in which the guy was likely a jerk, maybe didn’t even talk to you, and wanted to get back to you in his annual rotation.  But it rings true to me in different ways today.  But it’s a question that should be asked before you break up a marriage or any relationship.  Why do you really want this to be over?  Is it really not working, or are you just giving up because it’s too hard?

And sometimes the answer is that it isn’t working, but if you were so confident at one point to go through the process of getting married to this person, there has to be a strong reason why, after all that, that it’s not working?

I hope to live long enough to see the sanctity of marriage returned to its former stature.  And perhaps opening marriage up to all couples in love will make couples who traditionally have had the right to get married think twice about giving up on love.

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2 Comments »

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  1. wanna hear a funny story, luv? a few years ago when my mom made me officially clean out my room at my house, I discovered those rules in my old planner. ahhh! such funny memories.

    • no way! Did you keep it? If you did, you totally better scan it and send it to me!


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