Living Together: Year 1 Review

August 4, 2011 at 7:30 am | Posted in Relationship Woes | 2 Comments
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It was right around this time last year that the fiance and I entered into a domestic partnership together.  In the heat of the summer, he moved into my third floor walk up 1 bedroom, and our lives were to never be the same again.

I gave an update a few months ago where I said that this event didn’t really turn my world upside down, and that’s still true, but I’d like to take a moment now to be a little more detailed on how it is all working out.

  • Our schedules:  Our schedules are completely different but not so different that we never see each other.  I work my 9-5 while he works a more flexible schedule.  I always know I can rely on him to move my car if it’s on alternate side parking and if I forget, or take the dog out if I’m going to be home late.  If he is working from home, he knows I can always mail or fax things for him.  I wake up early and he stays up late.  Curtains in the living room block the light so I can sleep when he’s still up, and a fan I keep in my bedroom drowns out any noise.  It’s not a perfect science, but it works for now.
  • Chores: Chores are just that – chores.  Some of them we take on easier than others.  He naturally takes out the garbage, changes light bulbs, and does the laundry while I do the cooking and a lot of the cleaning (of course there’s some overlap).  We struggle to keep up which can be frustrating, and I don’t imagine that will change, but hopefully it will get better (or I will eventually need to hire a cleaning service!)
  • Paying bills:  We have been very good about paying our bills on time, and splitting them fairly.  Both of us have our personal finances in order, so there is no unevenness there, but we know that we have each other if things go sour. For now, we do not have a joint bank account.
  • Food shopping: We do this together. I create the list and we both go. Together, we buy healthy foods and a few treats, but somehow a bag of chips always ends up in the house a few days later. Not pointing any fingers….
  • The dog:  This is my favorite.  The fiance has totally fallen in love with my dog, to the point that we joke that he would need partial custody should we break up.  He is truly the glue that keeps us together.  I could not be with a man who didn’t allow his dog to sleep with him, but that’s a bigger topic for another day.

I think this just about sums up the parts related to our domestic situation.  It’s definitely not perfect and we definitely fight and there is definitely still that random sock that always seems to end up in the middle of the living room, but I can’t imagine not waking up next to him everyday (unless of course he has fallen asleep on the couch again).


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  1. I’m so curious to live with a man and see how it changes my life. I don’t know how I would deal with not having privacy, but I would totally love waking up next to someone every day. I’m totally not ready yet, but someday….

  2. It’s such a pleasure to read about your domestic (almost) bliss. There are bumps in the road of any good relationship. Go over them gently, together. And when the going gets rough, the sound of breaking dishes always makes me feel better (as long as they are kept well away from each other’s proximity. Sometimes we’re forced to be realists!! Love to you both!

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