It Wasn’t Me

August 9, 2011 at 7:32 am | Posted in Life and Living | 7 Comments
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“Doc, I think I want to go off of birth control. I think it’s making me bitchy.”

“Wait — you think your birth control is making you bitchy?”

Yes, this was a real conversation I had with my doctor, my smart ass doctor, about a year ago.  It’s around the time I realized that during certain times of the month I was getting uncontrollably irritable, angry, impatient, frustrated — bitchy.

I know the men will laugh at this, since us women don’t allow them to get away with a “Is it that time of the month again?” joke without losing an eye, but over the years, it has become more and more true.  I think it has to be hormones. All I know is that for at least a week before my “friend” comes to visit, I can feel the blood boil in my veins and I can’t hold back.  If you are in my path during this time, the best thing to do is to keep quiet.

I’m not saying that I am not ever impatient, frustrated, angry, irritable during other times of the month. Of course I am. I’m living this crazy life, too, but for this one week, it is virtually impossible to control my emotions, let alone understand them.  They are extreme, from hot to cold like bipolar.

I know it sounds like a cop out. Like a drunk girl saying she didn’t know she was trying to hook up with every guy at a party because she was “soooo drunk,”  but this is biological.  You have a choice on whether or not you drink. Women do not have a choice on whether or not they menstruate.

And I know the next thought is, “Well, it’s not like it’s your first period. You should be used to this.”  I swear to God, it wasn’t always like this.   At first, there were no symptoms, because how do you recognize them when something is so new?  Then, the obligatory aches and pains began (and continue). But this is a whole new outer body experience.

So if you happen to see me this one week a month and I seem to be acting irrational, please keep in mind, it wasn’t me.

Don’t be afraid to comment. I promise I won’t bite your head off. 🙂


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  1. i always tell Ira the same sweetheartttttt it wasnt me is my friend from France lol but leave me aloneeeeeee lol

  2. Thanks for the warning! Just wait until menopause! You’ll love the hot flashes, insomnia, uncontrollable crying, dysphoria, vaginal dryness (the sandbox experience), and plummeting libido that comes with that stage of your XX phenotype life!! Sorry to be so graphic, but wait, you’ll see!

    Love you!
    Aunt Bobbee

  3. hahah this is funny! have you every tried ones with lower estrogen like desogen or ortho-tryclen lo?

    • I have! I’m on a very low dose. Apparently it’s not the birth control’s fault I’m a bitch. 🙂

  4. If the evil twin is too b*tchy, maybe she needs daily massages, pedicures, or limitless supplies of chocolate? 🙂 Something ought to soothe the savage beast!

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