Online dating — then and now

November 17, 2011 at 7:34 am | Posted in Relationship Woes | 7 Comments
Tags: , , , , , , ,

Long before, Plenty of Fish, eharmony, and okcupid, there was this little thing called AOL.  You would click on the icon, and dial up a connection, and hear the male electronic voice say the magic words: “Welcome! You’ve got mail!”  This is what we considered the Internet.  You had a profile, and you could search thousands of profiles and meet people online from all over the country.

I was 13 when I got America Online.  I made up a username that went along with my personality and interests in many ways.  This was also around the time Romeo and Juliet came out, around the time when my hormones were doing something crazy, and I wanted to experience love or romance, or whatever the hell Romeo and Juliet had.  So I met boys online.  Back then, most perpetrators hadn’t yet figured out this great tool for creating a persona, so the people you met were typically exactly who they said they were.  Over the years, I met two boys online who I talked to regularly.  Of course, nothing would ever come of it, but it was fun while it lasted.

So this whole online dating phenomenon has really peaked my interest.  I haven’t been single for 8 years (holy crap, 8 freakin’ years) so I have never had the pleasure of exploring this new form of courting.  But I am fascinated by it.  I have seen a lot of people meet online and even get into relationships, even get married.  But I hear a lot of mixed messages about it.  Some people are all about it, some people are just as frustrated with it as they are with trying to meet people in person however else people meet.  But I just find it funny that this online dating thing has taken on a life of its own from such early roots.

And another thing that’s funny about dating today.  The whole, “when should we be friends on Facebook?”  Oh boy.  I know I deal with this when I get requests from clients or people somehow related to me through work (separate from colleagues).  For me, this is the group of people I do not need prying into the pieces of my life that make it to Facebook (that’s what Linkedin’s for, silly).  Because our Facebook profiles are not what our AOL profiles used to be.  Sure you have your basic info about who you are and your interests.  But you also have comments from your friends and photos that probably shouldn’t have been posted publicly.  How much of that are you willing to share with a possible love interest you just met, or virtually met?

I love hearing people’s dating stories. Because I can only imagine how tough it is to meet someone.  I mean, there are like, so many people in the world, and in New York, you barely can raise a hand without hitting someone sometimes, but somehow there is a safety in meeting someone electronically rather than at arms length.  Interesting, indeed.

So tell me a story. I want to hear your online dating stories because I don’t plan on having any and need more people to live vicariously through. 😛


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  1. I used
    For a while and ended up dating a couple of total losers.
    I met my husband on E Harmoney. He was my second date from the site (the first was a nice guy (who i really liked)who took Me to Korean but then tried to get me into bed on the first date).

    We’ve been together ever since . We met in 2005 and were married in 2007.

    • Interesting. I wonder if there is a general crowd that hangs out in different sites….

  2. […] people somehow related to me through work (separate from colleagues). I was 13 when I got America Online. I made up a username that went along with my personality and interests in many ways. This was also […]

  3. Plentyoffish is full of players and no one serious is on there. And now you even have to pay for some features…

    The only free dating site with serious singles I found was on Have you tried

    It is a 100 % Free Dating Website made for serious singles worldwide.

  4. Hi Pushingthirtyy,
    In addition to your post I was wondering, Ok, so here’s what I need advice on – I found out by total accident that my boyfriend of 2 years has joined an online dating site and was having ’email sex’? with some of the girls on the site, not only did he join but he PAID to do so. I asked him why he did it and he said first that he doesn’t know, then after much pushing he said that he was feeling insecure and wanted to boost his ego…I don’t know why he did it, I really still love him and tell him so frequently, and he says he loves me too. And this is not the first time, about a year ago he joined and of course I got angry but he promised he wouldnt do it again so I believed him so now I don’t know what to do….I love him so much and I don’t understand WHY he would do it. Maybe some of the boys out there can say whether they think that he was actually looking for a relationship out there ? Please, any advice is highly appreciated!

  5. I won’t tell it all, but I had a bad experience with a girl who I got to know and had great chemistry with online..however her online pic that I could view was about 7 years old and very blurry.

    I wish girls would only post current pics…and decent resolution ones!!!!

    I left early in the date because “my friend needed me right away”….im not proud.

    • how misleading the online dating world must be!

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