Left out

December 13, 2011 at 7:38 am | Posted in Career Moves, Friends Then and Now | 2 Comments
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You remember the feeling.  Being the last one picked for a soccer game in gym class.  Being the only one not invited to Betty’s supercool birthday party.  Your “friends” forgetting to tell you that they were going to the park.  Being left out is one of the worst feelings when you are a kid.  All everyone wants is to fit in.

This is one of those feelings that still sucks when you get older.  You thought you were one of the gang, part of the master plan, and then something happens, and you are the last to know, not invited, not included — intentionally or not.  You want so badly to listen to the advice of your elders and your friends. You want to let it roll off your back. You want to show that it doesn’t bother you.  But you can’t help but reflect on your position in the pack, your perspective on your relationships, your value in the big picture.  You can’t help but feel hurt, and you want, you need, everyone involved to know, to care.  You know you don’t deserve this.

But more often than not, they won’t care.  They will say you are overreacting, that it’s nothing personal.  Whatever the response is, the situation won’t change.  What you are experiencing, it feels like no one understands.  You are, somehow, alone.

So you have a few options.  You can let yourself be shoved around, because it will likely happen over and over again if you become a pushover.  You can speak out but it will likely just sound like you are complaining.  You can try to sabotage the situation. Or you can make a change.  You can change your perspective, change the people you surround yourself with, change the course of your life.

Everyone gets hurt sometimes.  Sometimes, when you think a situation is one way, you find out it’s really not.  You can’t coast through life without experiencing being left out, and you will do everything in your power to not do it to someone else.  But it will happen, and just like anything, it’s all about the way you react that will determine the final outcome.  Time will tell.

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2 Comments »

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  1. Yes that is true however it does seem like some people can experience life without experiencing the “left out” feeling. Just saying.

    • All a matter of perspective I guess! Perhaps there is more to the story for some. We definitely all experience everything a little differently and not necessarily equally.


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