Don’t Treat Me Like Your Married Friend

April 24, 2012 at 7:35 am | Posted in Friends Then and Now, Relationship Woes | Leave a comment
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Ever since I got an engaged, I have seen a change in the way people interact with me.  It’s almost as if I’m playing some sport and I just got traded to the other team — the “serious couples” team, the “married” team.  Typically, I try to be very sensitive to the “other” side — the single side, because I know a lot of people are not there by choice, and societal pressures to “settle down” can be overwhelming.

But today I need to stick my neck out for all the engaged folk who are not “settling” or “settling down.”  Just because I’m getting married doesn’t mean I don’t want to go out and have fun.  I may be wearing a ring, but don’t brand me as boring.  I still want to drink, dance, sing, party.  I still want to be your wingwoman and help you get your game on.  I can still listen to your dating stories and talk about hot guys.

I may have found my partner, but I’m not ready to settle into a life of dinner parties with other married couples.  I’m not about to buy a house and start a family — not yet.  It may seem that I have my shit together, and in some respects I do more so than others, but I still have things that I want to do, and that includes hanging out with you.

I still want to do girls nights out.  I still want to be considered one of the guys.  I don’t want to sit around talking about wedding planning.  I want to shoot the shit, talk about the crazy things we do and did, what’s on tv and in the movies, what’s going on in the world.  I want to tease you and let you break my balls.  I want to be there for you when things are good and things are bad.

I want to be your friend — not your “married” friend who doesn’t go out anymore.  I don’t want my pending nuptials to wedge a block between us.  Sometimes, we are going to be going through different things at different times.  We might be on different pages but what made us friends still remains.

So don’t treat me like your married friend, and I won’t treat you like my single friend. Relationship status is not a disease.  You are you and I am me.

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