End it on a High Note

July 31, 2012 at 7:45 am | Posted in Friends Then and Now, Relationship Woes | Leave a comment

A lesson that stuck with me since college came from one of my dear friends.  Leaving things behind on a good note — getting out before you hate it, before your good memories are clouded by the bad.  I’m sure I have written about this before, as I have applied this to both my college experience and my career, having graduated college early with this in mind and having left behind several jobs without bitterness.

But one place I never thought to apply this to was in my relationships, because we are taught to hold tight to those we care about. But sometimes holding tight to those you care about can be harmful or even distracting to your life.  Sometimes keeping those you love too close can destroy all you have built and worked for.

And sometimes those people have changed, or maybe they haven’t changed, but somehow you aren’t on the same page anymore. Or maybe, though you will always care, you were never able to get on the same page.

And so it seems you have to let go, or at least loosen your grip, because human emotion makes letting go of people you care about pretty damn hard.  And that’s why people search for closure.  But maybe it’s not always about closure.  Maybe it’s about accepting things for what they are and not pushing the envelope.  Maybe it’s about building a set of positive memories instead of trying to create a negative portrayal of someone just so that you can move on.  Maybe it’s about remembering the good and for being grateful for the time you had together.  It’s not about forgetting.  It’s in remembering that you keep those feelings alive.  It’s in loosening your grip that you honor the time you had and move on to the next step.

In this way, you shouldn’t regret the good memories, or be sad that you can’t make more of them.  Those memories will stay forever in your mind as high notes in a life well lived, and more great but different memories are yet to come.

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