Your Friends’ Approval

September 25, 2012 at 8:20 am | Posted in Friends Then and Now | Leave a comment

When I was in high school I had what was probably my first crush that wasn’t based solely on physical attraction.  I had a thing for a funny guy, one that everyone liked but not the guy that everyone crushed on.  Before I let the interest go any further, I got approval from one of my friends in the form of her also thinking he was cute. Knowing that I wasn’t alone in my thinking, I allowed myself to have the crush and pursue it.

This kind of consensus, this kind of approval from one’s friends is not something that goes away.  If anything, it becomes more important as you get older.  When you are young, everyone crushes on the same guys.  It’s almost like practice for when you start to come into your own, develop your own taste, and realize that it doesn’t make sense for everyone to like the same person.  What, are you really both going to date the guy?  Sure that happens, usually not at the same time (at least not knowingly).  As you get older, you begin to explore other qualities that attract you to someone — similar interests, charm, sense of humor, values, all start to come into play, and with every choice you make, you hone in on what really matters.

But still, it always comes back to the friends’ approval.  You can date a really great guy, but your friends, who aren’t on the inside of the relationship, the ones who know you and what you’ve been through, where you are in your life, the friends who genuinely want the best for you, they can tell you if this great guy is really right for you.  They may not always tell you, they may take the time to let you figure it out on your own, but they will let you know when it counts.

So when times get tough, when you don’t know if your relationship is going to survive the storm, your friends are the ones who will tell you if it’s worth it to ride it out.  They will help you see through the clouds to the sunlight.  They will remind you of what really matters and who you are.  I’m grateful to have such supportive friends in my life.

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