Last Post as a Single Woman!

October 4, 2012 at 7:37 am | Posted in Life and Living, Relationship Woes | 5 Comments
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Well, this is it folks.  The moment you’ve all been waiting for.  This weekend I will be getting married!  I really don’t have any words to express myself, which clearly as a blogger is not a good thing, but that’s what being engaged has done to me, but I’ll give it a shot.During this time, I have felt things that I never thought I would feel.  I questioned basically everything that I knew, took a real look at what I was doing and what it really meant.  To me, it was never about the wedding, though of course I wanted my day.  But event planning was never a big deal to me.  I took this time to think about the commitment I was making.

All my life, I have had a plan.  While in middle school, I was already thinking about college.  Starting this blog I had a five year life plan, and getting married was certainly part of it.  Now, halfway through that plan and I was feeling things I didn’t expect.  Following the plan I had set forth was not going to be easy.  And plans change. I had experienced that before.  That wasn’t really the worry.  I have adjusted to that before.  This should have been simple in my eyes, just follow the plan.

But it wasn’t.  There is so much you just don’t expect to experience.  I’ve heard a lot about how your wedding day goes by so fast, how you don’t remember it, how it’s all a blur.  I don’t doubt any of that.  What I hadn’t heard was what a whirlwind it was before you tied the knot.  The engagement period, for me, has been very stressful.  I know it was probably easier for other brides.

I’ve been asked so many times if I am excited.  To be honest, excitement is an emotion I’ve rarely felt through this process.  I was excited when I got my dress,  I was excited after my last fitting, finally envisioning myself with my bridesmaids by my side, I was excited booking my honeymoon, but other than that, I can’t point out specific times when I was excited.  Many brides will post on Facebook about their excitement.  That wasn’t me.  It just wasn’t.  I guess everyone’s experience is different, though there is an expectation that all brides are excited for the big day.

What I have felt has ranged from nostalgic to scared to overwhelmed to lucky.  With each item checked off the planning list, I felt accomplished.  And with each day coming closer, I’m getting excited and nervous and looking forward to what lies ahead.  This is a big deal.  But anything worth having is worth fighting for.  That’s been my motto all along.

I don’t know how many brides really truly spend their engagement thinking about the future of their relationship.  I don’t know how many brides let themselves feel the fear I’ve felt during this time.  I don’t know how many brides truly think about life after the party.  But I am grateful that I did take this time to reflect on how far I’ve come and where I am going.

I’m looking forward to celebrating this threshold into adulthood.  It is not lost on me that this is the biggest commitment I will have made to date.  It’s a real giant step into my future with my selected life partner.  It’s big. This is big.  And I just want to say thank you all for reading as I go through this.  I hope my experience has been helpful to you.  In sharing it with you, it’s been helpful to me.  And I can’t wait to share highlights of the day with you all.

I’ll see you on the other side.

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5 Comments »

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  1. hun, it does go fast but I had a BLAST at my wedding and can only hope you have the same at yours 🙂 Congrats to you n’ Matt!!! MAZEL TOV!

  2. Hope the wedding was great! Are you still going to blog???!!!! We love reading your Posts!!

    • I’m still going to blog. Don’t you worry! Stay tuned for more!

  3. I feel like I can’t/shouldn’t have a bridal shower, bachelorette party, or any of the other stuff I always dreamed of having, because it would just be contrived. They can’t accounce us as the new Mr & Mrs Patrick, because we’ll have been married over a year. Our first dance isn’t really our first. And even though I want all of these things so badly, and we are planning to do everything like a “real” wedding (even the ceremony, though it will be a vow renewal) I just don’t feel like I “deserve” them and I feel like people are going to be thinking it’s all just silly and our wedding day isn’t going to be as special as everyone elses’. I think I started to think of it a lot because during the planning of my best friend’s wedding, I got to experience all of these things and see how excited her bridal party, friends, and family were and I am not feeling ANY of that for our wedding. I can barely get my girls to go pick out bridesmaid dresses, much less help me with ANYTHING.

    • you do deserve it. It’s not about anybody else. It’s about celebrating your love and life with your chosen partner. Don’t let anyone make you feel like you don’t deserve it! it’s a tough road, but it’s worth it to get what you want.


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