My Final Post

July 2, 2014 at 12:08 pm | Posted in Uncategorized | Leave a comment

It’s been a while since my last post, I realize.  It’s not that I don’t have anything to say or I haven’t thought about writing, but something has changed.  For the past couple months, I would often think of something to write but could never bring myself to do it.  Then it dawned on me.  The voice of this blog is no longer one I recognize, that I can be anymore. And like any artist, one must know when their piece is finished.

When I started this blog, I had a vision. At 27 years old, I had realized a lot about how adult life was different than adolescence and I wanted to give voice to all of those going through the transition to 30 along with me.  This blog became a space for discovery, for creativity.  I started this blog with a vision for my future.  I didn’t have it all figured out, but I had goals.  Goals that would bring me to the age of 32, and from there, I would figure out what’s next.  I am proud to say that I met many of those goals, though not all, because one of the many things I have learned on this journey is that some things are beyond my control and you have to be able to adapt and find happiness, perhaps where you least expect it.  You can’t plan everything.

Now at the age of 31, just 7 months shy of that 32 mark, I realize one more thing.  I am a different person in many ways than I was when I started this blog.  Life will do that to you.  With every experience, you change, you grow, you learn.  I’ve learned a lot from writing this blog, and I know I will always be writing, but I’m in need of a new canvas.  I haven’t found that new canvas as of yet, but I know that I will.  Artists never stop creating.

I’ve experienced such great joy in writing this blog.  Amazing praise from friends, coworkers, family, and the greater blogging community.  I’ve had opportunities to guest blog, host guest blogs, be featured on WordPress (three times!) and promote products and good causes.  I was able to explore love, relationships, career, family, growing up, friendships, death and many other topics.  Most of all, I was able to share my voice, be heard and connect with so many great people.

I want to thank each and every one of you who has ever visited my blog, shared a link, told me they enjoyed my blog or related to something I posted.  There are no words to describe my gratitude for the support I’ve received over the years.  As I search for my next canvas it is good to know that I’ll have supporters with me encouraging me to continue writing.

Though I will no longer be posting here, this blog will stay up.  I hope that those in their late 20s will continue to stumble upon my blog for years to come to find a voice that connects to theirs.  I hope it helps them as much as it has helped me.

So with this, I say so long, friends.  It’s been quite the journey to 30.

Going Back and Giving Back

March 13, 2014 at 9:55 pm | Posted in Uncategorized | Leave a comment
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Tonight I received a phone call from the University I attended for my undergraduate studies. It was a typical annual fund call that I receive every year, and every year I say no.  I’m not the type not to give back and I donate to many causes, but in my mind, as long as I’m paying back my student loans, my college doesn’t need any more of my dollars.  But tonight was different.  Tonight, I changed my mind and gladly gave to the school that gave me so much, and here’s why.

Quite serendipitously, I actually spent the day on campus at my alma mater.  I had been connecting online with other alums and was asked to speak to current students about communications careers in the non-profit sector.   I had not been up on campus in several years and was looking forward to checking out the place I spent 3 formative years in my young life.

I was excited taking the 3 hour drive this morning and I found it surprisingly natural.  Every curve of the road was as if I had been on that road just the day before.  Driving through the town I had spent so much time in, I saw all that had changed and all that had stayed the same.  I drove passed my old apartment and my old dorm rooms before parking on campus.

Walking through the campus with students going about their day was almost like an outer body experience.  I must have looked strange, standing there in the blistering cold taking in the sights, but I wasn’t lost.  I was home.

Having the opportunity to share my experience after college with current students was a real privilege.  I knew all too well everything these students were feeling — the confusion, the anxiety, the wonder, all of it.  I watched as their faces lit up with excitement for all the possibilities to come.  What myself and my co-alum were saying was hitting home for them in a way no professor could.  We had been there, and look how far we’ve come.

Look how far we’ve come.  My, my.  I graduated from college at the end of 2004.  I have been working consistently in a steadily progressive career for 9 years.  I have climbed the ladder. I have learned so much.  I have a ways to go, but I have come so far.  

I set hefty goals for myself, and I push myself to achieve these goals at all costs.  This may sound like a good quality, but the downside to this is that when I don’t achieve what I set out to, I really beat myself up about it.  I have been so hard on myself as of late trying to determine what’s next on my journey, that I haven’t quite taken the time to reflect on how far I’ve come.

Talking with these students may have meant a lot to them, but it meant just as much for me.  In giving them hope, I allowed myself to be proud for at least a moment.

I am a proud alum. I have come so far and there is so much more greatness to come.  And that is why I gave back.

Dealing with Finality

February 24, 2014 at 4:04 pm | Posted in Uncategorized | 1 Comment

This past weekend I attended a going away party for a friend of mine.  He has decided that it’s time for him to leave New York for a while and is heading off to Hawaii to participate in a work program of some sort.  He will be out there for at least two months, but doesn’t know where he’ll be after that. So this week, I say my proper “goodbye”, or perhaps more of a “so long,”  because the truth is, good byes are really hard.

My husband has always been acutely aware of time and the finality of certain situations.  When I’d complain about some annoying part of a good situation, he’d always say to me, “don’t take it for granted — this isn’t going to last forever,”  and he was right.  We had some great parties at his old apartment, but it wasn’t going to last forever. Sure we had a lot to clean up and there was always some drama, but overall, it was a great era.  When a good friend of ours lived around the corner, he always made the effort to hang out. It was convenient and fun but sometimes resulted in long nights which made me cranky. But that situation didn’t last forever.  Sometimes it is hard when you are in the moment to realize that it is fleeting, that time has a way of slipping by.

And sometimes, you do recognize the finality of situations. But in recognizing it, that doesn’t always mean you know how to handle it. So often finality comes with entering the unknown.  When are you going to see this person again?  Will you ever see him/her again?  And even if you do know that you either won’t see this person again or it will be many years before you see him/her again, how do you really say good bye?

Somehow, things aren’t going to be the same.  In a fleeting moment you connected with a person, really connected. You don’t know when/if you are going to see him/her again, and you don’t know what that connection will mean.  A few years back, I ran into someone who once meant so much to me.  We hadn’t seen each other in years, and I ran into him by surprise.  We didn’t get to talk, but we didn’t need to — because in that moment, with one look, we said all we needed to say.

Time can change things, but if you are lucky, you can pick up where you left off, should that person ever come back into your life. Because some things are never final.  Some connections, some memories, are strong enough to withstand the test of time.

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