Aging Gracefully

March 8, 2013 at 9:58 am | Posted in Fashion, Fitness and Beauty, Life and Living | 2 Comments
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In recent weeks, I have been actively involved in throwback Thursdays on Instagram.  This comes as no surprise to my friends who might remember the old photos I started posting on Facebook five years ago, as I always had a camera on me as a youngin’ (some things never change).  It appears that my inherent need and desire to document life comes in many forms and has become a constant in my life for a long time.

And what’s really interesting about looking back at old photos is seeing how much we have grown.  I’ve had many people say to me recently that I look the same as I did in high school, some saying I look better now.  When I look back at these photos, I see lots of bad phases, some awkwardness as I grew into my body, and some periods where I had things going just right.  Sometimes, I looked really young, and boy was I skinny!

Overall, I think I have been aging pretty well.  In many ways, I have to agree that I don’t look all that different from when I was a senior in high school.  There are small changes — gray hairs sprouting, the beginnings of creases in my face — little things that freak you out when you look in the mirror, but are to be expected.

I consider myself pretty lucky that I haven’t fallen off the deep end, but it takes hard work to ensure a graceful aging process, and it takes knowledge.  What can I expect to happen to my body as I get older?  I can already feel how foods affect me differently now than they did when I was young. McDonald’s sounds like a good idea at the time, but now I immediately regret it after I eat it.  My body is less forgiving in many ways, so I need to think twice to make sure I care for it.

Bottom line — you can’t wait until you are old to start doing good for your body.  I am in a constant battle between enjoying all of the deliciousness this world has to offer and in making healthy choices.  I’ll do really well for a week, and then allow myself to cheat.  This cycle has been working for now, but I know at some point I’ll have to tip the scale towards the healthy side more often.

But I’ll probably always sneak a piece of chocolate. Old habits die hard.

Online dating — then and now

November 17, 2011 at 7:34 am | Posted in Relationship Woes | 7 Comments
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Long before, Plenty of Fish, eharmony, and okcupid, there was this little thing called AOL.  You would click on the icon, and dial up a connection, and hear the male electronic voice say the magic words: “Welcome! You’ve got mail!”  This is what we considered the Internet.  You had a profile, and you could search thousands of profiles and meet people online from all over the country.

I was 13 when I got America Online.  I made up a username that went along with my personality and interests in many ways.  This was also around the time Romeo and Juliet came out, around the time when my hormones were doing something crazy, and I wanted to experience love or romance, or whatever the hell Romeo and Juliet had.  So I met boys online.  Back then, most perpetrators hadn’t yet figured out this great tool for creating a persona, so the people you met were typically exactly who they said they were.  Over the years, I met two boys online who I talked to regularly.  Of course, nothing would ever come of it, but it was fun while it lasted.

So this whole online dating phenomenon has really peaked my interest.  I haven’t been single for 8 years (holy crap, 8 freakin’ years) so I have never had the pleasure of exploring this new form of courting.  But I am fascinated by it.  I have seen a lot of people meet online and even get into relationships, even get married.  But I hear a lot of mixed messages about it.  Some people are all about it, some people are just as frustrated with it as they are with trying to meet people in person however else people meet.  But I just find it funny that this online dating thing has taken on a life of its own from such early roots.

And another thing that’s funny about dating today.  The whole, “when should we be friends on Facebook?”  Oh boy.  I know I deal with this when I get requests from clients or people somehow related to me through work (separate from colleagues).  For me, this is the group of people I do not need prying into the pieces of my life that make it to Facebook (that’s what Linkedin’s for, silly).  Because our Facebook profiles are not what our AOL profiles used to be.  Sure you have your basic info about who you are and your interests.  But you also have comments from your friends and photos that probably shouldn’t have been posted publicly.  How much of that are you willing to share with a possible love interest you just met, or virtually met?

I love hearing people’s dating stories. Because I can only imagine how tough it is to meet someone.  I mean, there are like, so many people in the world, and in New York, you barely can raise a hand without hitting someone sometimes, but somehow there is a safety in meeting someone electronically rather than at arms length.  Interesting, indeed.

So tell me a story. I want to hear your online dating stories because I don’t plan on having any and need more people to live vicariously through. 😛

Should I Change My Status to Domestic Partnership?

February 22, 2011 at 7:32 am | Posted in Relationship Woes | 11 Comments
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I was out to dinner recently with a couple girlfriends, catching up. We talked like girls do about our boyfriends — each of us at different but overlapping points in our relationships.  One of the girls was saying how her and her boyfriend have been fighting a lot lately.  We started to comfort her, saying it’s probably just a phase. Couples fight.  We’ve all been there. To which she of course asks the question, “you guys still fight over stupid stuff? Like what?”

The other girl and I start ranting about how our boyfriends are messy, or clean, except for that one thing they do that doesn’t make any sense.  That they go to bed too late or wake up too early, and in both instances, we wake up with them.  We argue about who is going to take out the garbage, maybe we’ll argue about the bills or who is going to walk the dog.

And when we took a second to breathe we realized that nothing we argued about had anything to do with our relationships.  The difference between our relationships and our friend’s was that we lived with our boyfriends.  It’s a blessing, my friend said, because it makes things easier, which I agreed with, but it doesn’t make everything easier.

Because we are no longer just “in a relationship.”  We have unknowingly entered into a domestic partnership.

So when I saw in the news that Facebook was adding two new options to their relationship status, I was intrigued.  I know that this decision was made to accommodate our LGBTQ friends, but doesn’t this status pertain to me too?  Yes, I am straight, but I am living with my partner, just the same as a same-sex couple would.

But the problem with the phrase “domestic partnership” is that it takes away from the intimacy of the relationship.  A domestic partnership to me sounds more like two people getting together for convenience, like Hillary and Bill Clinton. You can’t tell me there’s love in that relationship.  And our LGBTQ friends have just as much love in their relationships. But right now they don’t have the same rights to declare their love as straight people do, so we gotta do what we can to help them describe their relationships while our country catches up to our social reality.

So what does this all mean for straight people?  It means we shouldn’t forget that we have the right to express our love the way we want to.  That we shouldn’t forsake our relationships once they reach the level of domestic partnership.  That we should continue to love and not mistake domestic disagreements for relationship problems.

And hopefully, in the lifetime of a 20 something, we will see that we don’t really need all of these classifications related to sexual orientation.  That love is love — not some box you check off on a form.

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