Whateva, I Do What I Want

February 7, 2012 at 7:34 am | Posted in Friends Then and Now | 1 Comment
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We live in a world of doers, downers, don’t carers, and homebodies.  For some, the glass is half empty, and others half full.  We all have our limits, and they vary widely.  We don’t all find the same activities enjoyable, the same jokes funny.  We are different, and being different doesn’t mean we can’t be friends.

My friends have always meant a lot to me, but I’ve never hung out solely with one clique.  Instead, I have always been attracted to many different kinds of people.  I can blend well with lots of people, but sometimes my friends don’t blend with each other.  I used to care, but I’m starting not to.  Because at the end of the day, they are still my friends, even if they don’t like each other.  So when I plan events, like birthdays, I decide what I want to do and invite everyone knowing full well who definitely won’t come.  I still try to make it convenient for the masses but I’m increasingly stepping away from that frame of mind.  Because if people want to come out, they will do it, and for those who don’t, they won’t, even if you bring the party to them.

There are the coffee friends, the occasional phone call friends, the Sunday brunch if you are lucky friends.  And then there are the grab a beer friends, the hardcore party friends, the happy hour friends, the hungover Sunday breakfast friends.

For me, there is a time and a place for all of these activities.  In general, I’m not much of a homebody.  I’d characterize myself as a doer.  I don’t like sitting still.  I like to be with people more than I like being alone, though I do enjoy some quiet thinking time.  I like conversation, I like people watching, I like to try new things.  I like to do.

And life is too short not to do what you want, within reason.  I have some friends that are much more adventurous and risk-taking than me, but I’m not too far down the safety poll.  So I’m going to live my life, doing what I want to do as much as possible, even if I have to go at it alone.  I never want to regret not living.

But it’s a school night

November 15, 2011 at 7:41 am | Posted in Friends Then and Now, Life and Living | 3 Comments
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weekday happy hour? Don't mind if I do

When people think of going out, it’s typically a Friday or Saturday night thought.  We have work and school to worry about during the week, so this is the best time to let loose.  But I am finding more and more that when I make plans with my friends, it is usually for a week day.

At first, there is some hesitation.  We have responsibilities, and can’t be out for all hours.  But you need to make time for your friends, even if it is only for a drink or two on a Wednesday night. The weekends get really busy as we all catch up on sleep and try to run errands that can’t get done during the week.  Sometimes, Friday comes and you don’t even want to go out!  Unheard of when you were a teen, but nowadays a glass of wine and a little Dateline can make a really good Friday.

In college, you get your first taste of life without a curfew.  I never really had a curfew, but if I came home super late, or snuck out or something, you bet your ass I’d be hit with that Jewish guilt — you know the kind, it makes you never want to do anything wrong ever again (until again happens).  So you add Thirsty Thursdays to your list of acceptable nights to go out.  You are still being responsible, going to class and whatnot, and you know you have that 9:30 am class on Thursday, so you won’t been seen hitting the bars on Wednesday (unless it’s a special occasion, in which case you will suffer the exhaustion the next day).

I think it’s just a matter of redefining going out.  I mean, when I was a kid I was always out.  After school, I would ride my bike down to the elementary school, park it at the fence, and then scale the ¼ mile steep hill and make my way down to the drug store.  Whatever was I thinking? That was dangerous as hell! Especially when it snowed and you couldn’t get a grip on the ground. It’s not like there was a real path or anything. There was a hole in a fence and a place to jump down at the bottom.  Into middle school, we walked everywhere, and then driving came and we expanded our going out reach even further.  But in all of those instances, we were never home late unless it was Friday or Saturday night.

But I guess it was still “going out.”  Getting a drink on a Wednesday with a friend is still “going out.”  And it’s not irresponsible (unless you stay out all night and miss work the next day).  So what if it’s a school night?  I need a drink!

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