A World of Pure Imagination

February 17, 2014 at 9:25 pm | Posted in Life and Living | Leave a comment
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Sitting on the floor of my brother’s apartment, I play with his son, my nephew.  Just shy of 3 years old, he’s so smart.  He mimics everything I say.  He loves to play with toy cars and trains.  He knows all the types of cars he has — mail truck, fire truck, dump truck, everything.  I watch him and can see his imagination running wild, and I yearn so badly to feel what he is feeling as he learns all about the world.

As a kid, it is so easy to use your imagination to build a world around you.  From role playing, to building forts, to creating families and characters  with dolls and creating different situations for them to tackle.  We play games, pretend to be airplanes, are afraid of monsters under our beds.  Our world in reality may be small, but in our imaginations, the world is full of endless possibilities.

As we get older, we stop playing these games and our imagination morphs into something else.  I was into witchcraft as a teen and after seeing The Craft and Now & Then one too many times, I kept a spell book, read tarot cards, held seances in the nearby cemetery.  I was going to bring Judy Garland back from the dead.  When I wasn’t being a witch, I was dreaming of boys and my future husband. Who in my class would I marry?  The world was small, still, and I was still shielded from life’s harsh realities.

I didn’t know what I was going to do with the rest of my life, but I was a writer. I was a poet.  I was going to somehow make my name known to the world with my words.  The pain that I felt between the real life tragedies and the teenage dramedies I created, I had something to say.  It is in my writing that I am able to connect back to the imagination that lives deep down inside me.

I know it is there.  We don’t ever lose our imagination, but the realities of life put a damper on what we think is possible.  We see obstacles, timelines, responsibilities, impossibilities.  All of those silly ideas we had as kids seem so unfathomable.  We lose the optimism that comes with having a great imagination.

It is true that there are some things we cannot control. This is something I have to remind myself of everyday.  But my fantasies, my dreams, my imagination, these are the things I try to push to the forefront.  Because a world without imagination is a world without light.

You Never Grow Out Of Being Parented

March 22, 2013 at 9:14 am | Posted in Family Ties | Leave a comment
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They’re the ones who taught you how to ride your bike. They’re the ones that encouraged you to enter the unknown or unfamiliar, to explore, to take risks, to learn, to make new friends.  You turn to them first for advice in all things, because they are your parents.  The moment you are born, your parents are the first people you likely turn to for everything, but at some point, you are able to do things on your own, or you want to try, and your parents will watch as their little boy or girl grows up and becomes independent.

But as you get older, the decisions get bigger, and you may still need mom and dad to help you navigate stuff. Should I go to this college? Should I take this job? Should I move into this apartment? Sometimes people need a little reassurance in the  decisions that they make.

And at some point you reach a level with your parents where they need you more than you need them.  Luckily, they have taught you how to be supportive, how to help them make decisions, so you can pay them back for all that they have taught you.  It is the gift of family.

But that doesn’t mean you suddenly won’t need them.  It doesn’t completely turn the tables. There are still the life experiences you have yet to live that they can guide you through.  There’s raising kids, or writing your will, or getting a mortgage.  All of the decisions that they have made you can learn from.

I know I will always need my parents, just as much as they need me right now.  And I plan to learn from them for the rest of their lives, and beyond that, to recount the things they have taught me to my future family.

6 Days

January 29, 2013 at 7:46 am | Posted in Life and Living | 2 Comments
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In six days, I will be 30.  I imagine the day of my birthday won’t feel all that different — really does anything ever feel different right after something happens?  It’s like when people ask me, “how’s married life?”  Life doesn’t always change in an instant — it most certainly doesn’t change when we expect it to.  I don’t expect to wake up feeling older, wiser, or feeling like I’ve reached some sort of turning point in my life.  No. That’s not the way things change. It’s a much more gradual process, where you just keep on going and one day you stop and take a look around and notice that everything has changed in some way, and the things that haven’t stick out like a sore thumb.

As I prepare to celebrate the big 3-0, I can’t help but reflect on birthdays of the past.  Truth be told, I struggle to remember several of them without the help of good friends in attendance and photos to remind me of where I was and what I did.  Many of them blur together as so many of the faces have been consistent in my life for many years.  Many recent birthdays were celebrated with great friends and lots of laughter and fun.  Most birthdays include some sadness in remembering that I am getting older and that time always seems to slip away.

I was sad on some birthdays for other reasons.  My 18th birthday, 3 weeks after my high school boyfriend broke up with me.  My 21st birthday, when my college boyfriend couldn’t be with me.  Birthdays are days where you are supposed to feel special, to not feel so alone.  Even though I had friends with me on both of these days, not having that one person that should be there with me was hard to handle at the time.  Back then, I was thinking about making memories as I am today, but I wasn’t thinking forward the way I do now — a blessing and a curse it seems.

But whenever I think forward, I have to look at how far I’ve come.  Even if I’m not quite where I thought I’d be, I’m pretty happy with where I am.

This birthday is going to be a good one.

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