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February 3, 2011 at 7:27 am | Posted in Life and Living | 11 Comments
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the set up from my 18th bday

Tomorrow is my 28th birthday.  Not exactly a national holiday technically, but a big day in my life and the life of this blog.  After all, this blog is all about my journey to thirty in its current incarnation.  So what kind of blogger would I be if I just pretended I never aged?

Ten years ago this week, I turned 18.  Eighteen is a big milestone in the life of a teenager.  You are legally able to vote, buy cigarettes, and get into clubs.  Truth be told, it wasn’t really a big birthday for me.  I didn’t care about voting and I never had real trouble buying cigarettes or getting into clubs.

I was not in a good place emotionally when I turned 18.  My boyfriend had broken up with just a few weeks before and I was completely heartbroken.  I was not in the mood to celebrate.  But my friends insisted we do something.  So we threw a party the way we often threw parties back then — by renting a cheap hotel room, inviting lots of people over and getting trashed.

My best friends arranged everything and one of my really close friends at the time made the one hour trek down to my town just for the occasion.  They took good care of me. So it was understandable that they were pissed when I couldn’t shake my sadness.

I’ve had other birthdays where I was just sad.  My 21st birthday fell on a Wednesday. I was away in college and my boyfriend couldn’t make the drive up in the middle of the week (obviously not the same boyfriend as on my 18th birthday, though I kind of feel like a pimp right now).  Another big birthday, this time because you could legally drink, that was not too exciting for me. I went out to Bertucci’s with one friend and partied like normal all weekend.

I know I only mentioned two bad birthdays, but I’ve had good birthdays, too.  The thing with the good birthdays is that they sometimes blend together into one. It’s easy to remember the bad ones as isolated events.

So I have a love/hate relationship with my birthday.  Nobody likes getting older, but there is this feeling that you are somehow supposed to be happy.  Historically, birthdays were celebrated because people are happy you are still alive. Ok, I’m generalizing, but if I’m not mistaken, that’s the reason first birthdays were celebrated back in the day when mortality levels were high.

I’ve been working on changing my outlook on this, and I’m in a really good place in my life right now.  I am happy and looking forward to celebrating my birthday. It’s really a good excuse to party. Not that you ever need an excuse. 🙂

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