I Still Do

June 28, 2011 at 7:30 am | Posted in Relationship Woes | 5 Comments
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Last week, I poked my head into a colleague’s office — a man who I knew was on vacation when I made my engagement announcement to my company and I knew he’d be happy to hear the news. I also knew he would join the ranks of those giving me advice, and his advice would be truly genuine and meaningful because it would be more about my pending marriage rather than my wedding.  If this man could speak with every couple in the world that was considering divorce, he would singlehandedly reduce the divorce rate significantly.  I know I won’t be able to repeat word for word what he said to me but I wanted to share a few things that really stuck with me.

He told me that the person you marry today will not be the same person in 10 years, 20 years, or 30 years, and I won’t be the same woman either.  We will experience things that will change our lives and change who we are.  We will be broken down and built back up.  Our relationship will change. Our priorities will change.  We will make decisions we never imagined we would make, or have to make.  The beauty of marriage is being able to grow together, to change together, to accept the changes, and support each other through the good times and the bad.

He said that he mourns the end of his friends’ relationships.  Happily married for 20 plus years, he can’t imagine throwing all of that time away.  You can’t celebrate your children’s accomplishments together, or your grand children’s.  You give up having someone to share your life and memories with, the one you built so much with.

I’ve heard him talk about his wife and relationships many times, and it’s amazing to see how much he still loves her.  It’s incredibly admirable and something to look up to.  He told me about his wedding day, how they really made it their own.  How he sang a duet with his professional opera singing wife even though he has no singing talent at all and how he replays that moment in his mind all the time.  He told me the officiate of the ceremony was a very wordy man.  When the officiate spoke he waited patiently and nervously for the moment to say “I do,” and how he spoke too soon.  The officiate wasn’t done with his shpeal yet so he was going to have to say it again.  When the officiate was really done he said “I still do.”

I still do.  He and his wife had that saying engraved on their rings.

10 years from now, 20 years from now, 30 years, I want to say I still will.

I still will.

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