The Art of Always Wanting More

February 17, 2011 at 7:32 am | Posted in Life and Living | 12 Comments
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one of my favorite signs

It’s not about being selfish. It’s not about being spoiled.  It’s about wanting to live the best life one can possibly live.  It’s the feeling you get when you reflect on your past and think, “Did I do enough?” “Did I have enough fun?” “Did I live enough?”

The stories you tell when you are older are made when you are young, so it’s only fair to want to make the most out of your youth, because you can’t turn back.  Of course, you always could have done more. You could have had more crazy nights when you broke all the rules.  You could have had more romantic moments.  You could have taken more risks.  You could have had more laughs.  But, from what you do remember, was it enough?

I for one don’t want to stop making those kinds of memories.  I have some great ones already, but I’m not passed the point of not being able to make more. I don’t really know when you reach that point. I just sort of imagine that it exists, but maybe it doesn’t have to.  But when I think back to the memories I have made I do wonder if I did enough.  I call this the art of always wanting more.  It’s not about regret.  It’s about having a thirst for life.  I want to spend the rest of my life learning and experiencing all that I can.  I want to travel, try new food, see live concerts, meet new people, I want it all!

I want to be tired when I am old, not because I am bored. I want to be tired from having lived so damn much.  We may never know the meaning of life, but I plan not to waste away while I try to find out.

I will take pictures. I will make home movies.  I will say what I want, even if I regret it later.  I won’t hold back out of fear.  I will enjoy some down time watching tv. I will work hard.  I will sleep. I will love. I will cry.  I will tell my children and their children all about the endless possibilities life has to offer, even when it seems like there is nowhere to go.  We all get stuck sometimes, but life does eventually go on, and even these memories have a place in the rocking chair of old age.

And I will always want more, because there’s no such thing as too much living.


December 14, 2010 at 7:36 am | Posted in Relationship Woes | 7 Comments
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People celebrate anniversaries for various reasons, anything from celebrating marriage to celebrating sobriety can merit an anniversary for some.   Anniversaries are even used to mark events in history that have never been made official holidays (the first one that comes to mind for our general is 9/11 — literally the date of the event serves as the way people refer to this tragedy). The idea of creating dates to memorialize important events good and bad in one’s life, personal holidays if you will, is obviously not a new idea.  But it’s certainly an interesting cultural phenomenon.

People want to remember specific events in their lives, and that’s what anniversaries do for them.  Today is an important anniversary for me.  Three years ago today, I let go of all fear and took a leap of faith to find happiness.   Three years ago today, I decided to follow my heart to a true connection.  Three years ago today, I put my trust in the love of my life.  Today is the day where I reflect on one of the biggest decisions I’ve made to date — one that literally changed my life.

This anniversary reminds me of so many great lessons I learned during this difficult transition (aren’t all transitions difficult in some way?)  This anniversary reminds me that I need to always stay true to myself and stick up for what I believe, even when others doubt me.  This anniversary reminds me that there is such a thing as love, and fate.  This anniversary reminds me that I should never sell myself short, that I deserve happiness just as much as the anyone else.  This anniversary reminds me that I am loved, that in my darkest moment, I am not alone.

This anniversary forces me to stop and take pause and appreciate the life I have, my friends, my family, my job, and the wonderful partner I’ve selected to share it all with.

Thankful in an Imperfect World

November 25, 2010 at 11:08 am | Posted in Life and Living | 3 Comments
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It’s that time of year where we are all summoned to reflect on the good in our lives.  Sometimes it is hard to do this, particularly when there is so much bad in the world.  Some things just shouldn’t be the way they are, but you can’t control everything.

We shouldn’t be in this recession.  Families that have worked all their lives shouldn’t lose everything due to a bad economy.  Families should not feel forced to sell their homes just to live.  The housing market shouldn’t be in such bad shape that people for those who really do want to or need to sell.

Children should not go hungry or suffer serious illness.  Illness and the harsh reality of poverty destroys the innocence of too many young children, not just in “third world” countries, but right here, in our neighborhoods.

Mothers shouldn’t have to ride the subway asking for hand outs proclaiming they don’t drink, they don’t use drugs and they don’t smoke cigarettes. All funds raised will help her feed her children and prepare for job interviews.  The government and charities don’t have the capacity to save them all.

Animals should not be beaten. Nobody should be beaten, but there is no one more innocent than animals.  Animals may not get equal rights to humans, but they do not deserve to be used as punching bags for disturbed humans to vent their frustrations on.  Animals give unconditional love, unless given a reason not to.

No one should feel alone.  Yes, technically we experience life and death alone, but in the in between we should be able to confide in each other.

Nobody should ever have to fight for their rights.  We should all accept our neighbors for who they are, and if we don’t like them, then just leave it alone.  We should have better things to do that to tell other people who to live their lives.

All people should be loved, and experience being in love.  All people should have the chance to find their passion.  All people should be free, and respect others’ freedom.  All people should be able to express themselves.  All people should be able to see the light, even in the dark, because the dark will never go away, and sometimes you have to face it, and sometimes you can just look passed it.  All people should have the capacity to look passed the little things.

But we live in an imperfect world, and nothing is what it should be, so this Thanksgiving I am thankful for one thing in particular.  I am thankful for another day to make it all right.

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