The Guest List

June 14, 2012 at 7:35 am | Posted in Friends Then and Now | 3 Comments
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With my pending nuptials only a little over a hundred days, I’ve started to feel the crunch of needing to get things done.  Having been engaged for a year now, I really felt like I had plenty of time, and perhaps the reality of the situation hadn’t really hit me.  But it has now, and hard.  This is really happening and I have some stuff to do!

One of the things that I’ve had to cross off my list once and for all was the guest list.  Who would actually be invited to my wedding?  Sure, I’d sent out save the dates back in October, so the list really should be final, but I went back and forth with people I might add, or people that didn’t receive the save the date that I could not invite.  There were some adjustments, but I finally locked it down.

Being on a tight budget, it was really hard to make decisions.  I really wanted to spend the big day with all of my friends, past and present, but it’s just not feasible.  When I was younger, not even that much younger but like college-aged, I had thought I would invite all of my past best friends to my wedding.  Even though we weren’t all close anymore, they had an impact on who I became, and I would love for them to be there.  But it’s just not the case.  Tough decisions had to be made.

So how did we make them?  I thought about who was there when my future husband and I became a couple?  Who witnessed, watched, supported and shared in our courtship?  Who came to all of our parties and birthday celebrations?  Who supported each of us individually during the time we came to be a couple?  That was how we made our decisions.  Truth be told, some of these people we lost touch with over the duration of our relationship, but that’s just life, and they still matter to us as a couple.

And the truth is, friendships change.  The people I was close with last year aren’t the same as this year.  Some people have reappeared, some disappeared. Some old, some new.  It’s really an attempt to capture a moment in time where you can celebrate with the people who watched the relationship bloom.  Not everyone I hang out with will be invited to my wedding, and that doesn’t mean I think less of them.  I plan to make new friends for the rest of my life, and for those I can’t invite, I hope to share the memories with them.

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