It’s a date!

November 13, 2012 at 7:43 am | Posted in Friends Then and Now, Relationship Woes | Leave a comment

It starts at a very young age, with parents setting up play dates with neighborhood kids, or their friends’ kids.  One parent calls another, a time and place that is mutually convenient is decided, and transportation is worked out.  Parents select activities for their children to get involved in, which become part of the routine for socialization.  As you get older, you start choosing your own friends and making your own dates for hanging out.  At some point, it becomes the norm, and dates are rarely needed.  It is expected that you will hang out after school, meet at the same place, and do the same thing you normally do.  The schedule of an adolescent is typically not too complicated.

But as you get older, you get busier.  You have jobs, errands to run.  You have to make time for exercise, and groceries, family, walking the dog, laundry, cleaning.  But you can’t forget about socialization. You can’t forget about your friends.  So typically, you reserve the weekends for the long nights, and grab a drink or dinner with friends occasionally during the week.  No biggy.

But what can easily be overlooked is spending time with your partner.  Sure, you live together, you share responsibilities and a bed, but what about the good times?  Just because you are both sitting on the couch watching the Food Network does not a date make.

I used to think the idea of “date nights” was ridiculous.  Why in the world would I need to make a date with my husband?  But I get it now.  I really do.  I need dates with my husband as much as I do with my friends, and the same goes for him.  Because it is so easy to get wrapped up in the day to day.  It’s so easy to start snapping at each other or taking daily stresses out on each other.  It’s so easy to just go to bed after a long day at work and be too tired to even talk to each other.

But relationships take work and dedication, time and energy and thought.  My husband and I schedule fun activities for the months to come, but you can’t do that all the time.  But still, I am finding I really do want and need a night of just me and him outside of the home.

So I am embracing date night, with my husband and my friends.  Life is a tough thing to balance, but I’m lucky to be figuring it out without having to schedule play dates for kids yet!

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