Pushing Thirtyy

Staring at a blank canvas

That once ran patterns

of reds, blues, greens, white

The colors have been washed away

She’s stuck inside her mind

Buried alive

Under fear, heartache

confusion and delusion

she continues to breathe

She’s trapped inside her mind

Without an exit

The weight of despair

pins her down to the ground

paralyzing her

Staring at a blank canvas

I know she’s in there

Under the drugs, the regret

I catch a glimmer of light

and hold my breath.

fighting the urge to fly;

to get into my car

with no destination in mind

to leave behind all I know and love

and trust

longing to see something

unfamiliar;

to discover ancient beauty

and modern awe

longing for a transient setting

Torn between love and wonder,

necessity and curiosity,

security and hunger.

Lost without the world to see.