What was I thinking?!?!

March 20, 2012 at 7:33 am | Posted in Life and Living | Leave a comment
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It typically happens while looking at old photos or videos, or reminiscing with old friends.  It’s that moment where you look at your former self with shock and awe, with one phrase in mind “What was I thinking?”

Maybe you are referring to the time that you died your hair purple, cut your own bangs, or got a perm.  Or maybe you are talking about some seemingly ill-informed fashion trends. Or maybe you are thinking of crushes you had, people you dated.  Or maybe you are thinking of the things you got into trouble for.  Whatever the case may be, it is so easy to sit here, years later, and say how stupid some decisions you made were.

But the truth is, not all of those decisions were bad decisions at the time, and many likely had no lasting consequences.  It’s also easy for some (probably insanely stubborn folk) to say that they have no regrets, but we are human. We have regrets.  We regret things we said, things we did, things we didn’t do.  We may obsess over the way a scenario played out from our perspective, how embarrassing it may have been, without ever knowing that other parties involved have a completely different memory of those events.

It’s not easy to remember how you were really feeling in the moment, what the circumstances were in that moment in time that led to the decision made.  It is so easy to judge in hindsight, and say how we would do things differently.  But I am a firm believer in everything happening for a reason, and beyond that, the role of timing.  Timing is everything.  There is a perfect storm for every occasion, a plan that goes awry, a split-second change of heart or turn of the wheel.

When I think about my past, I try to remember the various circumstances that effected the decisions I made.  I am comforted in knowing that, at the time, I made the best decisions I could make, and while I may have done things differently knowing what I know now, I wouldn’t have learned all that I have, I wouldn’t have the stories and the scars that I have now.

I try not to beat up on myself a lot.  I try to laugh at myself as much as possible.  We are all living this life for the first time (except for those who believe they were reincarnated).  All we can hope for is that, for the most part, we make the “right” decisions for us, in the moment that the decision needs to be made.  While every decision we make may not serve as a turning point in ours lives, it will likely serve as a way of shaping future perspectives, memories, and lasting lessons.

A Few Blog Highlights from 2010

December 28, 2010 at 7:50 am | Posted in Career Moves, Family Ties, Friends Then and Now, Life and Living, Relationship Woes | 2 Comments
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What a year it’s been.  I’ve been thinking a lot about where I was this time last year, and about all the good things 2010 brought me.  For one thing, I started this blog, and I’ve truly enjoyed sharing my experiences with all of you.  I’ve gotten to know bloggers and fans from all over the world, and I’ve become increasingly dedicated to this creative outlet.

But even before I started blogging this past April, I was in a serious mode of change.  I started a new job on March 1, and my brother got married on March 14.  Looking forward into 2011, I will become an aunt for the first time.  Not everything in my life is perfect, but the positives have been big ones.  I wonder what else 2011 has in store for me.

So without further ado, I wanted to give you some highlights from 2010 as seen through this blog.

1. Breaking up is Hard to Do – My first popular post.  This post was about my ex-boyfriend, and even though we broke up  more than 3 years ago, this post drew a lot of attention.  Of course, at the time, my blog was new, so readers were likely people who knew me who thought I broke up with my current boyfriend.  People love drama!  If you didn’t get to read this and you are going through or considering a break up, this post may be cathartic for you.

2. Woman’s Best Friend and I Don’t Mean Chocolate this Time – I introduced you all to my heart and soul in this post.  My lovely labrador retriever. I never had a dog growing up, so getting a dog when I was 23 was a major growing experience.  My dog has taught me how to enjoy to simple things in life and has taught me the meaning of unconditional love.  You can expect more posts about him in 2011 as he surprises me everyday.

3. Becoming Domesticated – I talked about living on my own, one of the biggest challenges of growing up.  I’ve lived on my own  for almost 4 years now and I’m still getting it together.  But the biggest change in my living arrangements in 2010 was when my boyfriend moved in with me this summer. I hope to bring more good news about our living situation in 2011, and I’m sure there will be some learning experiences to share along the way.

4. Divorcing Friends – I talked a lot about friends this past year, and I’m sure this will continue to be a hot topic for me as situations continue to change and consequently, relationships with friends.

5. Time Flies When you Love What You Do – I talked a lot about my career, something I am proud of.  I love what I do and I’ve worked hard to continue to offer my skills to the world in support of the greater good.  I have serious career goals, and I hope to inspire people with my experiences as I work to reach them.  It may be a bumpy road with a few more set backs, but I am still determined to succeed.

6. From Player to Prude – I talked about my changing perspective on relationships.  My 20s have looked very different than my teens did in this area and it’s interesting to see how my attitude has changed towards it. But I don’t want to forget how I once felt about things like this as one day I might have a daughter who needs a mother to relate to her as she sifts through her relationships.

As a teenager, I always kept a notebook so that I would remember how I felt and what I went through when I was young, so that when I was a mother I’d be able to support my children and help them make the best decisions they can.  Writing this blog has helped me to continue this process at another crossroads in my life that I think is important to remember.

Another year closer to thirty, another year closer to trying to reach my goals, and adjusting when life throws me a curveball.  Another year of realizing who I am, who I’m going to be, and what the world, and life, is really about.

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