Let’s Give Them Something to Talk About

February 28, 2013 at 10:45 pm | Posted in Friends Then and Now, Relationship Woes | Leave a comment
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When I was younger, I remember looking at older couples, studying older couples, wanting so badly to understand how relationships worked.  What did they talk about all the time?  Where were they going when they drove around together?  What was it that they did together?  As a pre-teen and into your teenage years, you have a lot of time to think about things like this as you try to learn and understand the world.  When you aren’t in school or doing homework, there really isn’t all that much to worry about. At least, that’s how I see it in retrospect.  I spent a lot of my free time hanging out with my friends, talking on the phone with my friends, picking out cute outfits to wear, and painting my nails.  In terms of going out, options were fairly limited.  The world was small and the problems were even smaller.  Of course, back then, they were the end of the world, but now I know better.

I know that there is constantly so much going on, every day.  I know that I start my day with some excitement from the adventures with my dog, or the texts from my BFF about her date last night.  I know that there will be some drama going on at work that will be the gossip of the office.  I know that there will be something happening with my family that I’ll be looped in on.  I know there will be stories and situations involving my friends.  I know there will be plans being made and bills to worry about.  I know that every day will be different somehow, and my spouse and I will have plenty to talk about as we ride in the car together day after day.

It’s kind of funny when I think about the hours I spent on the phone as a young teen, having my own private line so I didn’t wrap up the family line and so my friends didn’t have to speak to my parents before reaching me.  Now on the other side of this, I wonder what I was talking about then?  In reading some of the journals I have found, it seems that a lot of my conversations were about my friends and crushes I had.  I had way too many crushes, that’s for sure!  When I have kids, I will reflect on my journals, look for answers to help me relate and remember.  I will try to keep my kids a bit busier with more stimulating activities.  I will probably tell my future daughter “boys can wait, you need to experience the world.”  I will try to help my children experience the world, so that when they get older they will have plenty to talk about.

Life is a Road to Hana

October 23, 2012 at 7:35 am | Posted in Life and Living, Relationship Woes | 1 Comment
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Hey all! I’m back and getting back into the groove of the new normal that is my life.  I feel like it’s going to take some time to adjust to this next stage of my life, and I imagine a lot of it will unfold in the blog posts to come, but for now, a little reflection on my honeymoon.Hawaii is the most beautiful place I have ever been.  I literally was in awe of the natural beauty of the land. I took 400 pictures!

Seeing as it was my first time, I wanted to see it all.  After all, I don’t know how long it will take me to get back there (but I will go back).  So this was not the relaxing vacation I had partially expected, but in removing myself from my environment, I was able to get my mind off all that I was dealing with at home and enjoy the adventure with my new husband.

Many of our adventures involved driving around Maui.  We drove 10,000 feet up the Haleakala Summit, an inactive volcano that is now part of the National Parks system.  We also dared to conquer the infamous Road to Hana: 600 hairpin turns, 50 one-laned bridges, that lead to too many hidden treasures to take them all in.

While the Road to Hana is known for being a daring drive, my husband actually found the drive up the volcano more challenging.  But both trips were worth it.  We were rewarded with amazing views, above the clouds, on the edge of the Pacific Ocean, on top of the world.

The theme behind the famous Road to Hana is this: It’s not about the destination. It’s about the journey.  In fact, the town of Hana itself is quite small. If you blink, you will miss it. And some of the greatest sights you see on the Road are actually passed Hana.  The journey takes a long time, with lots of ups and downs, scary treks down long trails, through water and rocks.  Since you are sharing the road in both directions, you need to be mindful of when it is your turn to cross the one-laned bridges. The Road to Hana requires a lot of attention and determination to reap its many rewards.

In fact, the Road to Hana is an amazing metaphor for life.  Through all the twists and turns, the close calls, the beautiful discoveries and missed opportunities, the realization that you can’t do it all, the realization that sometimes you have to wait your turn, the fear and wonder of entering the unknown, the scary and amazing things you learn along the way, the Road to Hana is all about the journey.  Life is all about the journey, and having someone to go through it all with is the most rewarding gift of all.

Second Chances

February 21, 2012 at 7:32 am | Posted in Relationship Woes | Leave a comment
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It’s a question on every woman’s mind on Valentine’s Day in the 9-5 world.  Who’s man is going to make their woman feel really special by sending flowers to her office for all her female colleagues to see?  It’s always somebody.  So when a friend of mine was the lucky gal this year in her office, everyone was surprised, including my friend.  My friend never really spoke about dating anyone.  She spoke often about her ex-husband, but never any recent love interests, so I had to prod her for more information, and the story she told me is a true testament to second chances.

The man behind the flowers turns out to be an old friend who she knew when she and her ex-husband-to-be first started dating, back when she was in her mid-twenties.  Both men had an interest in her and probably didn’t like each other partially because of that.  The man she ended up with was the one who stuck his head out more, the one who had the guts to approach her, the bolder one.  A classic case of “nice guys finish last” syndrome.

But the marriage quickly deteriorated.  Now a single, attractive woman barely in her forties, perhaps she thought that was all that was meant for her.  Perhaps she thought that her life would be complete with the love of her family, friends and cats and the fulfillment of a meaningful job.  I can’t say what she thought.  But I think there is a light in all of us that deep down shines with hope for a second chance when at first you don’t succeed.

I don’t know how they reunited, but they did, and now the nice guy is coming out with guns blazing.  It’s such a spectacular display of wooing the sound of “aww” would make you think a gaggle of girls were surrounding a newborn baby.  It’s the romance and the excitement of the possibilities.  It’s the effort a man takes to impress you, to make you smile.

Who knows what will come of her second chance, but let it be a lesson to all of us.  It’s not over until its over.  Life is full of curve balls. You make the best decisions you can in the moment.  Don’t regret these decisions. If they weren’t meant to be, you may very well get a second chance to try again.

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