Titanic: Yet Another Influence on My Early Views of Love

April 19, 2012 at 7:41 am | Posted in Relationship Woes | 2 Comments
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"I'll never let go, Jack!"

I was just 14 years old when Titanic came out.  It was at this age that my crushes started turning into what I called “relationships.”  I went out with a few boys for 1 week, 2 weeks, 3 weeks, and it would end. Somehow the “relationships” would end and I’d be chasing the next guy.

And somewhere in that time Titanic came out.  Somewhere during that time I longed for the love that I saw in the movies.  I remember saying once to a friend and her man of the minute, in my teenage angst, “I can’t be around ‘happy couples,’”  — my longing for a “love” of my own clouding my mind.

In seeing Titanic again, I am reminded of a portrayal of love that truly affected my innocent mind.  Love was this passionate thing that happened so quickly, a chemistry that perhaps was scary or forbidden, a desperation to never be apart.  I’d listen to cheesy love songs (ok, still do sometimes) while talking to “love interests” on the phone — and think that love was this undying thing and that the strong feelings of desire last forever. In retrospect, it would probably be exhausting and quite distracting to have those kind of emotions at the forefront all the time!

What it sounds like to me, now 15 years later, is the feeling you get at the start of a relationship, the “honeymoon phase,” or during a summer fling.  All you want to do is stare at the stars, look deep into each others’ eyes and hold each other.  It’s the feeling you get when you are just getting to know a person, and he/she seems so perfect and there is hope that this feeling could last forever.  It’s before you start falling into the routine of each other’s lives, before you begin the steps of becoming an item and becoming partners.  It’s before you know each other’s habits and secrets.  It’s the phase where your interest isn’t quite human just yet, but a dream covered in flesh.

So now, 15 years later, I still hold on to this idea of love, but of course I know that love is much more than passion and chemistry and cheesy one liners.  Love takes work to keep this feeling going.  Love takes commitment and understanding, compassion and forgiveness, compromise.  Love takes friendship.

But I guess a 14 year old has got to learn the hard way.

To Be Able to Love

February 14, 2012 at 7:33 am | Posted in Relationship Woes | Leave a comment
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I was lucky enough to see this beauty in Italy

Ever since I was young, I was always fascinated by romantic relationships.  I have had crushes on boys as early as first grade, when the girls would chase cute boys around the playground.  When I first started to learn about Greek Mythology, I was immediately drawn to Aphrodite, Goddess of Love.  I am lucky to be able to say I have loved and been in love several times, in different ways, at different times in my life, and I learned a lot about people, relationships, and myself in the process.

I know what you are thinking – isn’t love supposed to be unique and special, reserved for life’s one true love?  Isn’t that what a true romantic would believe?  How can you fall in love several times with different people?

I would be living in a total fantasy world if I said that I expected to marry my first love.  Young love is so exciting, but both parties have a lot of coming into their own to do.  There are the few lucky ones who will marry their first love, but if you are like me, it takes a lot of trial and error, heartache and heartbreak before you find the “one.”

And what would you say of those who lost a loved one, or fell out of love with a spouse? Are they incapable of falling in love again?  Are they destined to a life of solitude, missing that deep connection that comes only from love? I think not.

I think that everyone deserves the opportunity to fall in love.  It is an experience unlike any other.  I think that timing is everything, and that everything happens for a reason.  I think that love can be really strong and it can also be really comforting.  I think that love makes you feel weak but it also makes you feel powerful.  I think that heartache can hurt so much that you think that you will never love again, and I think that love can give you the strength to go on.

I think that for a relationship to last, it takes more than love.  It takes respect.  It takes commitment.  It takes understanding, and patience, and compromise.  It’s important to remember why you fell in love in the first place.  Love takes hope.

I hope to be in love for the rest of my life with my partner, my best friend.  I hope he will be in love with me for the rest of his life.  So far, it’s been quite a ride.

…adding in one of my favorite club songs of all time, just for funsies..

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