Sweet Emotion

February 12, 2013 at 7:47 am | Posted in Life and Living | Leave a comment
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I was reading an article in a magazine recently (not something I normally do, but my BFF left the latest Real Simple at my place on her last visit) when I was struck by an article in it.  The article covered the human act of forgiveness and the ability to truly forgive and forget — how it can help one find closure, even if the party being forgiven is not asking for forgiveness.  It also covered the human act of revenge and how revenge, too, can help a person heal.  Revenge is, in fact, sweet.  But the perception of both of these acts is somewhat complicated.  Forgiveness is often a hard pill to swallow and revenge is typically frowned upon.

It made me think about the way we are taught to feel, recognize  and respond to emotions.  People joke that elderly people no longer care who thinks what of them and so they express their emotions more freely that younger folk.  As children, we are taught what emotions are socially acceptable to express — tantrums, anger, tears are all to be hidden.  Jealousy is unattractive.  Having too high self-esteem makes people think you are full of yourself, and have too low self-esteem makes you look weak.  Because emotions are characterized in these ways, we often suppress unappealing emotions, bury them deep so no one knows how we really feel.  We pretend that they don’t exist, but the problem is that they do.

As I’ve gotten older, I’ve learned to recognize these feelings more readily.  Though I understand that it’s still not always desirable to exhibit these emotions, I’m not afraid to admit that I have them.  If human beings only felt good feelings all the time, life would get pretty boring really quickly.  It’s okay to be jealous.  It’s okay to be angry.  It’s okay to be sad.  It’s okay to not always simply swallow your pride.  It’s okay to want to seek revenge.

Of course most don’t want to be malicious, so it is important to keep your emotions in check, but denying your emotions is not the best reaction.  It’s not easy to be rational when it comes to your reaction to your emotions — there’s no real definition of the right or wrong response, though people will try to tell you how to react, heck people will try to tell you how to feel.  At the end of the day, you need to first be in touch with your emotions and then choose a reaction that you feel is appropriate.  Recognize your emotions, for feeling any and all feeling, is a great capability of humanity.

My 2012 Body Image

January 5, 2012 at 7:38 am | Posted in Fashion, Fitness and Beauty | Leave a comment
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it would be awesome to only use funhouse mirrors

It’s a new year, and a new beginning for all of us.  A clean slate. A time to try to set goals and start fresh.  It’s time to start cutting back on all of the holiday indulgence and to get serious yet again about physical fitness and health.  This year, I am approaching all of this with a new perspective, one that is very difficult for women in particular to grasp.  I look damn good, and I’m working out/eating less cupcakes because it makes me feel as good as I look.  We all could use a little improvement, but really, I look good.

I’m not trying to toot my own horn, but I am honestly sick of obsessing over why non-stretchy jeans won’t fit over my ass, or how unflattering silky materials can be on a curvaceous woman.  The reality is that I am young, and with very little effort, I have been able to maintain a weight that allows me to wear a lot of clothes I wore back in high school.

I look good, and I’m not being cocky.  The truth is I am young, and many women ten years older than me would look at me, and if they hear me complain about my thighs, they will laugh, remembering their own insecurities, which are still there, and say how much better they had it when they were younger, how much better they looked when they were younger.

One day, I will be on the other side.  I will struggle to maintain my figure.  I’ll have children.  I’ll be tired.  My body will be less forgiving.  One day, I’ll remember how I looked when I was 16, 22, 25, 28, and remember how I used to eat 3 slices of pizza and not see a visible difference in my skin or weight.

It obviously is not going to get easier to stay in shape, so I’m going to start loving what I have now.  I will cut back on the negative things I see and say about myself and turn them around and look at the positive.

So while I will continue to be mindful of my health and fitness, I will of course set goals, but I’m not going to beat myself up. Not anymore.  Women are just too damn hard on themselves and it’s time to put a stop to it.  You are beautiful now. You will be beautiful tomorrow, even with the extra couple pounds in your midsection.

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