Singles Only

October 27, 2011 at 7:34 am | Posted in Relationship Woes | 4 Comments
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So it’s under a year now until my wedding day and planning is moving slowly but surely, and of course along the way I continue to get advice and figure out things I want and do not want at my wedding, and what I want the mood of the night to be.  One of the pieces of advice that I received seemed like a given to me, but apparently it is not.

One of my single colleagues asked me to do her one favor — do not have a “singles” table at the wedding.  For me, I never would have even thought to do that.  It’s not that I’m against people meeting at my wedding — I’d encourage that — but I just don’t think there is any reason why someone’s relationship status should determine where they sit at a wedding.  Just because two people are single doesn’t mean they have anything else in common.

With that said, I don’t imagine creating tables of couples with just one person flying solo.  It’s been a while since I’ve been on that side of the game, but from what I recall being surrounded by couples isn’t exactly an ideal situation for a single person, particularly a newly single person.

For my wedding, I want to create a fun, welcoming environment.  For me, it’s not just my day.  It’s a day where everyone I care about come together to celebrate the union of my fiancé and I, but for me the keyword really is celebration.  I would absolutely love for two of my friends to meet at my wedding and hit it off, but creating a singles table and attempting to force the situation is just not the approach I would take.  From what I remember, relationships and connections happen a little more naturally than that.

So this was a pretty easy request to fill for my colleague.  Some of the other requests I’m sure won’t be as simple. But I will do my best to make my day worth sharing with those I love.

How do you feel about singles tables?

Where have all of my slutty friends gone?

August 11, 2011 at 7:36 am | Posted in Friends Then and Now | 5 Comments
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All too often I find myself in the same position — the only girl among single guys (plus my fiance).  I know what you are thinking — that I’m just the girlfriend who hangs out with her boyfriend’s friends.  I see your point, but that’s not really how it all began.

Sure the boys have been friends since high school, but when I started to hang out with them there were other girls around — my friends and girlfriends of the guys.  But as it goes, the dynamics changed, got complicated, there was of course some fighting and break ups, and now this is where I find myself.

For some girls, this might be an ideal situation.  Wouldn’t the only girl get all the attention? If she was single, sure, but I’m very much spoken for, and I’m not really an attention hog anyways.

What I really need are allies, so when the boys start acting like boys I have someone to turn to to roll my eyes or help me put them in their place.  I need girls who still like to go out and have a good time.  And of course since my guy friends are single, I really need single girl friends.

My guy friends always ask me why I never bring out girls, because as the token girl, that’s my responsibility.  I actually have a lot of single friends, but most single girls my age don’t really want to be single or are just plain sick of dating. They don’t want flings, they want to find a real partner, unless of course they just got out of a relationship, in which case they either want flings or want nothing to do with men.

But when I was younger, getting single girls to go out with me was easy, even when I was in a relationship.  When we’re younger, there’s more of a carefree attitude, a lot more… exploration happening.  Girls were not afraid to go on a double date.  I always had friends willing and up for anything; girls ready to be wing woman, and I in turn a wing woman for them.

So pardon my French when I question where are my slutty friends.  Perhaps that’s not the best phrase. But seriously ladies, I know a bunch of eligible bachelors looking to hang out with some sexy ladies.  No strings attached, unless you happen to fall for each other,  so let’s do this!

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