Let’s Give Them Something to Talk About

February 28, 2013 at 10:45 pm | Posted in Friends Then and Now, Relationship Woes | Leave a comment
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When I was younger, I remember looking at older couples, studying older couples, wanting so badly to understand how relationships worked.  What did they talk about all the time?  Where were they going when they drove around together?  What was it that they did together?  As a pre-teen and into your teenage years, you have a lot of time to think about things like this as you try to learn and understand the world.  When you aren’t in school or doing homework, there really isn’t all that much to worry about. At least, that’s how I see it in retrospect.  I spent a lot of my free time hanging out with my friends, talking on the phone with my friends, picking out cute outfits to wear, and painting my nails.  In terms of going out, options were fairly limited.  The world was small and the problems were even smaller.  Of course, back then, they were the end of the world, but now I know better.

I know that there is constantly so much going on, every day.  I know that I start my day with some excitement from the adventures with my dog, or the texts from my BFF about her date last night.  I know that there will be some drama going on at work that will be the gossip of the office.  I know that there will be something happening with my family that I’ll be looped in on.  I know there will be stories and situations involving my friends.  I know there will be plans being made and bills to worry about.  I know that every day will be different somehow, and my spouse and I will have plenty to talk about as we ride in the car together day after day.

It’s kind of funny when I think about the hours I spent on the phone as a young teen, having my own private line so I didn’t wrap up the family line and so my friends didn’t have to speak to my parents before reaching me.  Now on the other side of this, I wonder what I was talking about then?  In reading some of the journals I have found, it seems that a lot of my conversations were about my friends and crushes I had.  I had way too many crushes, that’s for sure!  When I have kids, I will reflect on my journals, look for answers to help me relate and remember.  I will try to keep my kids a bit busier with more stimulating activities.  I will probably tell my future daughter “boys can wait, you need to experience the world.”  I will try to help my children experience the world, so that when they get older they will have plenty to talk about.

Grounded for Life

March 31, 2011 at 7:28 am | Posted in Family Ties, Life and Living | 2 Comments
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The fear (and excitement) of the possibility of getting in trouble runs deep in the veins of adolescents, who spend the majority of their time testing the boundaries of right and wrong. I for one never wanted to get into trouble, but I was certainly no angel.

Lucky for me, I was the second child in my family, the “good child,” if you will.  My brother paved the way for me by getting into trouble in any possible way he could.  By the time I got to high school, the assistant principal knew who I was simply because of my relation to my brother.  I might mention that she never saw me in her office.  I was too slick for that.  I learned from his mistakes.  I was never sent to detention, or suspended, or arrested.  Sure I skipped class and broke a few minor laws — who didn’t?

For me, the worst trouble I could get into was with my parents. My parents were actually very lax and I was never grounded. Instead they used the old Jewish guilt to punish me.  When my dad caught me smoking just by giving me a kiss, the look on his face was enough to make me never become a smoker.  The last thing I wanted was to disappoint my Dad.

They were slick as well.  One night when I was in about 9th grade, I snuck out the back door of my house to go hang out at a boy’s house (we were just friends, I swear!)  When I came home in the wee hours of the morning, the back door was locked. I thought this was strange, but obviously I had to get in.  So I went to the front door, and when I walked in I was staring at my father sitting on the couch. I don’t know if he actually said, “where were you?” or if that’s what his face said. I had gotten so used to walking around my house in the dark, it definitely caught me off guard.

And still my favorite story of getting into trouble, and pardon me if I’ve told this story before, was when I was 20.  By this time, I was slick enough to know how to bounce back from the unexpected.  I was out with my best friends from high school and college on Thanksgiving eve at a local bar.  My best friend from college had traveled from Boston to spend the holiday with me.  Thanksgiving Eve of course is the biggest night of the year to go out, and I had been going out for years, but usually not to my local bar, where we could run into jack ass ex-boyfriends like my best friend’s.  This ex-boyfriend had the gall to call the cops on us and got all the under age people out of the bar. I was three months shy of 21 when the cops took the three of us home to our parents at 4 in the morning, just to teach us a lesson.  Obviously no charges were filed on us, but you can only imagine the look on my parents’ face when we got home.  Not good.  It may be interesting to note that it’s not like my parents didn’t know I drank. Hell, they found me on the morning of my 18th birthday puking my brains out, and teased me all day.

But like I said, I bounced back.  On Thanksgiving Day, I whipped out the trusty Bat-Mitzvah VHS and the ‘rents went soft.

Now, 8 years after that fact, I of course still look for the approval from my parents and hate to disappoint them, but I obviously don’t worry about getting into trouble anymore. But it’s sure fun to look back at the stupid things we are did!

What’s your best story of getting into trouble?

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